Fml

Hey,

Newcomer here, found this site and found in interesting. I'd like to share the world as I see it:

I'm 24 yrs old and trying to make it through day by day. I have several issues that I think have caused this. I guess it all started around the age of 17 when I lost my virginity and found I had genital herpes about a week later. I was a bit of a late bloomer (by "today's standards"), and was facing constant peer pressure about my virginity, so I jumped at the first chance I had. Met this girl (not a prostitute, for those wondering)  one night when I was out vacationing in Spain. One thing led to another and it happened. It was my first time, and I of course used a condom. A week later while showering,  I was surprised to know something wasn't right and got it confirmed by a doctor. I had contracted HSV-2 (in other words, genital herpes).



As you can understand, this changed my life from that point on. From that point, I wasn't like everyone else and this was going to make things much harder. At first, it hit me hard. With time and research it has gotten better, but it's always in the back of my mind. I haven't gotten serious (relationship wise) with another girl since so I haven't had the "luxury" to experience the moment when I tell her the truth and hope she accepts me. HSV2  isn't a seriouse disease. It doesn't create any health hazards besides an outbreak 2-3 times a year. But thanks to the mainstream media, the world looks at herpes as if it was lepracy, something taboo of sorts. So you can understand how difficult it is for me to tell people about this. As of now, only my doctor and 2 close fiends know. This is tough to deal with and all, but I was bearing with it. Then, a few years ago something happened that put me down even further down the spiral (NIN reference, I love them),



My brother who'm I've shared a room with my whole life was about to get married and move out last year. About 4- months prior to the wedding date, I came to find out he was using Heroin and deeply involved already. His fiancee ended up finding out, and even gave him a chance to clean himsel f up. As you all probably know, heroin is one of the worst (if not the worst) addictions to have. He tried, very unsuccesfully and the relationship was broken apart. As of right now, he's still living with us and is still an addict. This has been an increadible challenge in my already challenging life, and is bringing me down. I've seen horrors I've never thought I've seen and dealth with events I never imagined possible. He has become a completely selfish person, not caring about his family one bit. He lies 99% of the time which is why I barely even speak to him. We've tried getting him help but he adamantly refuses help of any kind. He's in debt up to his ears (you can imagine why) and just stays home all day (mostly in bed).

And now here I sit, writing this while working at a job I don't enjoy at all. I've been looking at these options to maybe find some genuine happiness:

-Move out on my own: This is something I'm seriously considering. But then again, I don't want to leave my parents alone with him. I'm the only person they can trust or count on for help.

-Change jobs: I'm looking for a new job, but it's tough in these moments.



I'm dealing with alot of issues at the moment. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I'm just looking to find some normality in my life and maybe, just maybe experience genuine happiness.

RegularJ0hn RegularJ0hn
26-30, M
Feb 25, 2010