Nanna,mum,me, My Kids?

My nanna had depression so does my mum and my brother and i have had it now for over 7years I now am worried my three kids might get it. I'm on anti-depressants and most days i hate my life! I don't want the same for my kids, is this a concern or just over a mindless worry?

bornwrongyear bornwrongyear
31-35, F
5 Responses Feb 27, 2010

do you want people to feel "sorry" for you...why should i it wasnt me that caused your depression...<br />
i think your depression is caused by your hatred and ignorance towards aboriginal people...its karma<br />
and if you are teaching your kids how to hate then of course they will suffer from being depressed your excuse for posting hateful and racist comments ....if it is ..its a very poor one

Dear bornwrongyear,<br />
<br />
You are not alone, nit by a long way. <br />
<br />
I concentrate on making sure my kids have outlets for their problems, likes, hates, questions, and worries. They have an open door to me, and nothing will ever change my love for them. <br />
<br />
I think that is a big part of keeping them from having the sames issues you and I have. <br />
<br />
Please PM me anytime.

Thanks it's good to know that I'm not the only one!

I am struggling to change myself, so that my kids dont pick up behaviors from me. <br />
<br />
All I can say is, keep struggling to change the patterns that form in our lives, so your children see different patterns. <br />
<br />
Its hard, but that is what i am trying to do every day.

I'm so sorry about your depression. I understand your concern about having kids and possibly passing it on to them. I am coping with depression too and I don't want kids because I'm terrified I'll be a horrible mother. Of course it is a risk but they are not necessarily doomed to to depression. There studies coming out that indicate depression can be learned as well as inherited. Depression does not run in either side of my family. Only my Aunt has been treated for it and it was a brief bout after a severe accident that almost killed her and did kill her boyfriend a few decades ago. However my stepmother was bipolar growing up and she lived with my dad and I between the ages of 10 and 16. I believed I learned a lot of these negative patterns from her. The reason I say this is I'm sure there is reason to believe your kids could be fine if they grew up in a positive and loving environment. Obviously there are no guarantee's. Have you looked into cognative therapy? It did wonders for me. I was suicidal when I went. It was two long difficult years but I emerged from it stronger and better able to cope with my illness than before. I also recommend Feeling Good Feels Wonderful by Dr. Burns. That thing is like a bible for me. I reach for it anytime I realize I am slipping and getting really depressed. Make no mistake. I still must work hard to battle my negative thought patterns every day, but I have hope, something I did not have before.<br />
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Anyways, sorry didn't mean to be preachy. I'm sure you are doing everything you can to get better. While I believe your concern is very valid it might be helpful to research it. But I don't think your kids will automatically suffer from depression just because you do although the likelyhood is admittedly much higher.<br />
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Good luck!<br />
<br />