I Am Depressed.

Oh I am so tired of getting depressed,I heve been suffering from depression since I realized that I was in a bad marriage....now I feel blue almost every alternate day. And it truly sucks.

There are millions of people who stay back in a sexless loveless marriage,they all are not depressed like me......or are they??.Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to cope with it. I wish I could be strong enough to live life happily on my own.I tell myself not to expect love or any affection from life and adjust with whatever life gave me. But my mind doesn't listen to me and get depressed...When I take medicines I feel better but the moment I stop taking them I start getting back all the blue feelings.

I wish I could cry for hours and get rid of all my sorrows at once.

I  sit in the darkness

Crying for hours

I keep all the doors shut

Thinking about all the things that pain me the most

I don't talk to you

Knowing that how much it hurts

I am depressed...I don't want to deny it anymore.

Aliva Aliva
36-40, F
5 Responses Feb 28, 2010

Thanks CrazyPeas...I really lack courage,on top of that I am financially depending on him...this is complex....but may be someday !

Thanks nomomisery....I know each word you say is so very true,staying in a bad marriage is such a disaster for one's mind and body...it ruins you completely.<br />
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I lack courage...and feel responsible towards my 8 year old daughter...that's all.

Hi Vicky..thanks.<br />
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I just don't feel like being strong all the time,I am so tired of pretending what I am not. So I thought of accepting it,I can't hide it all the time.I am fighting with my depression and sometimes I feel like giving up...but I can't even afford to do that so I try to fight back again....looks like a never ending battle this is going to be.

Hi navalone...thanks.<br />
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But I really don't know how to bring the change in me and how to see the good in bad:(

for depression you dont have to take medicine but to challenge it with your good feelings and change of behaviour. you can do it easily.