Something Wrong

I am of late; once again, depressed. i haven't been like this in months but lately i have been having severe episodes of depression leading to self harm and self loathing. i dont know what brings this on, and i am gradually begining to fear myself, i am scared of what will happen when next i have such an episode. They come randomly to me, i will be happy all day and then suddenly i will fall into a hole of depression and i find it extreamly hard to find my wy back out, i no longer talk to many of my friends about this as i dont want them worrying, but i dont know hat else to do right now, and i need someone to know, so an annonomyos message like this is the best i know. I am 16 and have attempted to kill myself 3 times, these where awhile ago....and this leads back to why i am afaid of myself, i want professional help but am afraid that my parents will get involved and this would send me over the edge because i know they will blame themselves. the worst part of all this is that i have no reason to be depressed, i go to a good school, i have amazing friends, and a good family yet i cant help but be overwhelmed by this feeling, it broods inside for ages before finally passing and i can carry on with my day, but i know that it will return eventually, i see people around me who are worse off and have reasons to be depressede and this makes me feel pathetic that i am. I have thought of teling my school nurse but am again afraid that my parents will be involved, i dont know what to do and that is only making things worse, i am depressed because i cannot explain why im depressed and its turned into a viscious cycle. I need someones help or just someon to talk to who i can trust. 

Heregoesnothing1 Heregoesnothing1
18-21, M
2 Responses Mar 2, 2010

There is so much life to be lived - I understand depression and I also understand how hard it is to live with it. Mine comes and goes. Medication and therapy do wonders and you'll never know until you try how treatment can return the light to your life. <br />
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Your parents will love you no matter what. Let someone in to help you before you miss out on all that life has to offer by leaving it too soon. You can always message me as well young friend. I know the pain you are in.

Heregoesnothing1,<br />
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Lilystar and secondfiddle are speaking sense here. You can help yourself a great deal by opening up, your parents should understand but if they dont friends will. Not all friends, but most will listen, re-assure, and actually learn something from you. IT will help!