I Need Help

Ever since I've gotten depressed, it's like I am a completely different person. I used to be so good at school, but now I freak out before I can approach my work. I'm scared I'll end up flunking out. The depression is too powerful for me to overcome. I need help. Fast.

A few weeks back I had an existential crisis. I was resigned to my depression dominating me for the rest of my life, and I realized that it wouldn't matter if I didn't wake up the next day because I would keep having the same miserable existence (like, no matter where I went, I would still be depressed, no matter how good things were for me. I felt so hopeless because it's like I have this defect that makes any external reality worthless.). I got really scared at the point because I was so complacent about suicide.

The kicker is that I have everything. There is just something wrong with me that screws everything up. The depression is a curse that destroys everything. I wish I could just live my life and be normal. I wish I could be grateful for what I have. I wish I could stop the depression.

junio909 junio909
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 4, 2010

Hello there,<br />
thanks for sharing your story<br />
I know its not easy to talk about this topic and i admire you for opening up about how u are feeling.<br />
I too battle depression quite often sometimes to the point of the "i just wish i could disappear feeling too"<br />
But let me give you some natural tips on things that helped me :<br />
Take up to 10,000IU of Vitamin D a day (most peoples depression is a chemical imbalance from not enough sunlight (vitamin D) and this helps to take the edge off.<br />
Also, Vitamin B will help boost energy levels and balance brain connectivity to help get rid of that "im hopeless no body loves me feeling and it will also give you more energy to be able to get out of the house more"<br />
Last but not least...Keep a journal so that you can keep track of the differences in your moods from day to day and also writing is the best therapy. I hope this helps and please know that you are never alone and i am always here to listen no matter what it may be about. Have a great day and smile it makes your butt tingle :)<br />
<br />
xoxo Dee