Depression Sucks!

I have been battling depression for years & wasn't diagnosed for years. Many people thought i was just being dramatic and that i just had to suck it up put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Depression wasn't all i had problems with. I started being anorexic with bulimic tendancies. I also begun cutting but when i had troubles hiding the cuts i started piercing. Years have gone by and i still struggle with eating, and constantly fight the desire to cut. Depression doesnt go away and is a daily battle. I dont like telling people when im having a "bad" day so to say but i struggle to hide how bad it is. I just hate it when people say  "just think positive" its really not that easy.

Akasha Akasha
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Jesus the lord of us all, he made a great investment-imput, -a love work, in your life, to give you all you long for Isa 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we thought his punishment was from God, but he was wounded for our wrongs, so we can be made right with god today. .

It's not easy at all, Akasha. It takes a great deal of mental effort to be optimistic when your life feels pointless and your world is falling apart. But it *is* possible to make it work.<br />
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Having been depressed myself, I know a little of your pain and the sense of hopelessness you seem to feel. <br />
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I really like Tuva's analogy of the person in the wheelchair. Sometimes people only need their wheelchairs for a while, though, while they are recovering. And just as someone recovering the ability to walk needs to exercise to gain control of muscle-groups, etc, someone recovering from depression can work out their 'mind-muscles'.<br />
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When someone becomes depressed, their mind creates pathways and connections which lead to begative emotional responses. Drugs such as anti-depressants can, at best, fill in these mind-ruts. So it is up to the depressed person -along with their therapist, if they can access one- to create *new, positive* pathways in the brain. Honestly, it can work...<br />
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However you approach your depression, Akasha, I hope you are able to find some moments in your life in which you feel at least OK.

No, you're right, it's NOT that easy. I think sometimes we start to believe other people in thinking it's as easy as just "being happy" and then we're left wondering what's wrong with us that we can't do something so easy. But it's not so simple. It has nothing to do with "sucking it up", like telling a person in a wheelchair to just "get over" themselves and start walking. Not that easy.