Taking Responsibility Vs. Blaming Our Genes

I noticed that there's a group for people who have insomnia... but no group for people who "battle" insomnia.  About 9 months ago, I started having problems staying asleep for the whole night.  It got worse as the months grated by - and I felt more and more miserable from my lack of sleep.  I tried a few different sleep aids.  I don't like taking drugs - I believe in facing the root cause of things, not just dulling things... but I had reached a point where I didn't have the energy to fight.  The sleep aids helped - but they had addictive qualities, so I could only take them one in three nights. 

The sleep aids gave me the energy to drag myself into a full-on fight with the causes of my problem.  I cut some toxic people out of my life, came to terms with my mother's pathological selfishness, and worked hard to transform my inner and outer worlds into something good.  I also started excersising more, eating better, taking vitamins in the morning (I forget to take them more often than I remember, but I'm slowly getting better about it).  It's a struggle, but I've reached the point where, instead of waking up at around 2:30 in the morning every day, I wake up at around 6:00 every day.  I still don't get quite enough sleep most nights, and I still take sleep aids about once a week - but things are improving.

I had a friend who had/has insomnia.  His mom has insomnia too - it runs in his family.  The thing is, his mom is also a narcissist - and he's got some DEEP unresolved issues.  Some families are narcissistic - his family is one that's full of narcissists, narcissist victims, and combinations of the two.  Maybe he has insomnia built into his genes... or maybe it's just a manifestation of his repressed issues with him mom, and with his own narcissistic traits.  He also eats a LOT of candy, and sleeps with the tv on in a smoke filled room, which lies nestled in a filthy house with rancid smells.

The moral:  Insomnia isn't something that has to own us.  Some people have it bad, some people have it built into their genes - these people will probably never have normal sleep patterns... but by taking responsibility for the ways that we contribute to it, we can fight to end it, or at least diminish it's power.

MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
2 Responses Mar 12, 2010

Yeah, it can definitely be applied to other issues. Thanks for the encouragement HeartofHearts.

wow! that is so true! i also think that applies to other issues that we, as people, struggle with. while it may be true that we may have a genetic predisposition towards certain things, it's really empowering to think about what, in this picture, this issue, we CAN control. what can we do to contribute to our healing and well-being? most of us can think of at least a couple things that we can do to improve the outcome of our battles.