Will the Battle Ever End?

I have been battling loneliness for a while now. Even while in relationships, I felt lonely. After awhile... I've just come to feel lonely all the time. And I can't help it. If I were to find someone.. now, that might help things... but for now, loneliness is a close "friend" of mine. The kind of friend that won't turn his back on you. :(
PoeticRejection PoeticRejection
22-25, F
5 Responses Dec 8, 2007

My mom went through something similar to this. She was lonely. But dad was an alcoholic who wanted his way with her (not in a physically abusive kind of way, just emotionally and mentally). She finally, after 16 years, worked up the nerve to tell him alcohol or the family. He said alcohol. So mom said she wanted divorce. He beat her to it and filed himself to make himself look like the better of the too. She's so much happier now that she was in the 16 years they were married. I'm not saying you should jump to divorce, not at all. But, always remember that it is an option, and often times a better one. If mom and dad were still together life would be terrible for all of us. And I couldn't tell you that my mom would still be here. If you don't like your sandwich, you toss it in the trash. If you don't like a movie, you stop watching it. And if I didn't like my husband, I'd stop being married to him. But thats just me and I am not at all trying to push you to anything. But I hope all turns out well for you. I send you my best.

I haven't worked in over eight months. I rarely leave the house. My husband is asleep or gone. We never talk about anything. We do not kiss, hug, have sex, or touch in any way. We are civil to each other. Every day gets a little more lonely. I have repainted or remodeled almost every room in our home to say busy. I write articles and novels to stay sane. He is hateful and beligerent. I keep trying to ride out this bad time in my life and wish something would give to change my circustance. I need people to talk to, I need to work, again. I need laughter and fun. Some days like today, the depression is so bad, I just want to sleep. What's wrong with me? How do I get past this bad time?

Yeah loneliness sucks. Don't know what else to say. I'm not lonely when i'm with someone though.

Yeah.. I that is exactly what I need right now....

Maybe you need someone in your life who listens and understands who you are?