Disable, Great College Grades, But Feel Bad Due To Lack Of Friends
im 17 and disabled with mild cerebral palsy. in high school i had great friends or so i thought, turns out they just liked me for having a family car. so we cut each other out of our lives. at college didn't connect with anyone apart from one guy in the first year . felt close to him but he left and i have no way of contacting him. he didnt have friends either and to be honsest only tended to talk to me. i hinted about meeting outside college but he blaanked these hints. now i have no way of contatcting him.
now i have no friends and i feel terrible. But i go to the gym and play sports. i am doing a college course which finshes this and am expected top grades. but despite this achievement i feel bad because of my lonleiness.
i tend to live in my house when im not at college or in the gym. The only thing that gives me a break from all this is working out (exercising). or when i listen to music. but i feel connected with nobody. i dont revel anything about myself to others and keep them at armds length. but it is rare that they bother to talk to me. they dont do it on purpose but it still gets to me. i want friends but i dont see how i can make them. because i have CP i feel that people dont see me as a person anymore and just a disability.
plus when i was young(12-14) my uncle would take me out to places like the cimema, but got a girlfriend with two kids and now they have a girl approaching 1. so he never bothers with me now they are great though and i have no probs with them. i dont have a problem with my uncle but we are nowhere near as close now. i try to get close to my class but failed.
on saturdays i play sport for two hours but the others their mostly have learning difficulties but theres a guy that works who asks me about college and understands whatits like to be my age. altought i dont tell him about my problem he still cheers me up and says he only comes to be with the people that attend