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I Base My Self-esteem On Others Alot.

People are very weird with me.  I get alot of attention and am told I am pretty, but lots of people don't seem to like me.  I feel like I don't really connect with others and I always feel like people don't want to include me in their conversations. 

 

As such, instead of thinking that it's their problem, I internalize it to think that there must be something wrong with me.  I start thinking of myself as a worthless loser with no friends.  In turn, I try so hard to please everyone that they end up using me and disrespecting me more because I have no backbone. 

 

It's just a cycle I will probably battle my whole life!

patchworkofmistakes patchworkofmistakes 26-30, F 5 Responses Feb 10, 2010

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It's not your fault but we're living in a silly media-driven world where acceptance is a central theme. Being liked by everyone is impossible . Most people are at best indifferent and sometimes, in varying degrees hostile. Stop trying hard and just be yourself ! Talk, dress and act in way that you can be proud of then walk through the world with your head held high . People still might not like you which you'll notice but you won't care . Being more indifferent yourself will probably make you more attractive to them but it is unlikely that the new confident person you have become will feel flattered.

You were never born to have someone else be your backbone. You were made to stand for yourself and be your own self, made to be different from all others. This you shouldn't forget, never let anyone hold your life's remote control.. take chargeand live.

The Shadow beat me to it.<br />
She is correct. we must figure ourselves out first.<br />
We must figure out how to get out of the hole and not let them push us back in.<br />
I have been trying to get out of my ashes and fly away. but I either slip or pushed back in and have to start all over again.<br />
And as pathtoforgiveness said and I just made out, you are not alone but why are we in our own holes, why cant we be in the one hole helping each other out. I guess its a personal thing but I don't see why it should.

Know that you are not alone. As much as kindness and advice are appreciated, sometimes people just don't realize that you can't make it out of your personal hole. I have yet to find love of myself, and no matter how supporting people around me are, nothing they say has ever helped. I know I will battle it for the rest of my life.

what makes you think that you're a "loser?" note: i hate saying "should." however, you should've stopped your sentence right there at "people are weird." 'cause we are and we always will be...no use trying to figure "us" out, put the work into figuring yourself out...that way you might find some peace with you, just you. {HUGS}