Battle Is Continuing Into The Night

Cutting is my solace, almost. Its a vice for me. I hate myself so much that it's unbearable most of the time. I'm ugly, I'm mean, I'm wrong, I'm just not right, I'm a ****** friend, I have no friends, I hate myself. The list goes on and on.
livikivirawr livikivirawr
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 9, 2010

cutting is not good..even though it calms you.<br />
it's depression what causes you to think things like that..<br />
that you're ugly..or not right.. it makes you think worse than it really is.<br />
if you have the need to say what's on your broken heart you can write to me.<br />

I used to cut as well. I did not do it in the obvious places though...I did it on my hip. The same place over and Over and over again because I wanted the scar. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to watch myself suffer. I would put vodka into it and cry myself to sleep. I tried to drown myself more than once, and I am happy I never did. <br />
<br />
There is ALWAYS a way out. <br />
<br />
I am sorry you are going through this, I know how it hurts. But the truth is, as soon as you find your strength, you will realize that you are NOT nothing.<br />
I Know...You've probably gotten this BS from many people. But trust me, someone who has gone through it, It is possible to get out. As soon as you stop hating yourself and find that you probably ARE attractive (There is something attractive in EVERYONE. Find what it is and focus on that instaed of your flaws) You will see the light. <br />
Try to work out. It is a natural anti-depressant. I found running to be my emotional outlet rather than cutting myself. I HATE that scar. DOn't let it get to deep.