My Ex Was Verbally Abusive
Women can be abusive also. I was involved with a women who I thought loved me. It is hard to find stories that relate to mine. Usually it is the women who claim abuse. Verbal abuse can be worse than physical. It leaves no physical scars, just a scarred heart that others on the outside looking in do not see. This is the most difficult situation to deal with. When I was a little kid growing up my sisters and brother would call me names. Now in my mid 30's, it was my ex-girlfriend who did it. When you care for a person, whether you are a women or a man, and you do all you can like let them live in your home, cook for them, etc, its hard to hear them say you are so stupid, get a job, your a slob. It makes no sense and although it may sound harmless, it is not. See these people are hard to figure out. For one they do not even think this is a problem they have. When others like friends and family see this person, they see a kind person who is outgoing, friendly and hardworking. When it comes time to spend your alone time with this person, it is like seeing night and day. For one a whole different person comes out that is mean and abusive, being verbally assaulting and controlling. I am trying to find answers to people with this personality. They do not think they need help! See my ex-girlfriend fell head over heals for me in the beginning of our relationship, and in the beginning I was a person who had no job, was on probation for drugs, and she still would say things like I love you so much, send me text messages on my phone stating how much fun I am and how much she enjoyed being with me. Also let me add that this women was coming off of a divorce with another man. Of course I though nothing about it because I was loving every minute of it. Why wouldn't I, my confidence was up and my self-esteem was also climbing. Six months of this went on. We had a great sexual relationship and we were doing things together as a couple. Then things slowly and gradually changed. For one I noticed her sex drive was slowing down, using excuses like I am tire and not in the mood tonight. She would say thing like "if only you were more romantic and would go to bed at the same time with me, would help". Okay it was not like I was asking for it, I was just trying to get intimate and close. That is not my big issue. After a while she would get controlling with the cleaning of the house. I am not a dirty person and all my friends and their girlfriends would back me on that. This women had a day job and would call me during the day and tell me kind things and ask how I was doing and say she loved me. Great I appreciated it. Then she would come home and I would have a smile on my face. She would go on this nagging behavior all of a sudden as soon she walked through the door to my house. Saying "this house is a mess, you are such a slob, you do not do anything all day and I come home to this" At first I would think its normal behavior and that is what women do, but it kept going on and on. After a while she would do this in front of friends. Everything was an argument with her. She would start a argument over a simple thing like what we were eating for dinner, or even argue over the money I spent on fixing up my house. It was not her money I was using, she would just get mad that I did not spend it on us. Other thing would follow after an argument, calling me stupid or a retard when I tried helping out with cleaning up after a meal I cooked for us. Stating that I was a sloppy cook who did not pick up after himself. This behavior wears you down mentally. Finally towards the end of our relationship, she stated to me she was not happy and we were not going anywhere as a couple. She stated that she wanted kids and I don't. Well its not that I did not want kids, its that I was scared to have kids with a person who displayed this behavior towards me. Of course me being the shy and quiet person I am, did not tell her this. What I am looking for after telling this story to all of you is why do women do this. I know men do this also, but since I am the man who is being abused hear, I would like a women's perspective on this. I am looking for answers!