Living With Bipolar

hi I have bipolar disorder. I have been hospitalized four times since my diagnosis. Tried to take my own life may 25th of last year. Doing well with my new meds. I have gone thru so many different medicines that I forget what they were. I have experienced full blown mania six times, each one a little worse. I always fall into depression that gets so bad I can't even get up to shower. This past year was terrible for me. My mania turned into psychosis.I got arrested five times within a month. I turned very violent and. Paranoid. I thought everyone was watching me. It got so bad that I was convinced the CIA was spying on me!  Crazy right? I was so nasty to my family and anyone else that stood in my way. After coming down from that euphoric mania I fell into a such a deep dark depression and eventually tried to take my own life from the overwhelming guilt. 
boodaman boodaman
36-40, F
Feb 19, 2013