Weird That I Even Wrote A Story About This.

I guess it started because of my lifestyle as kid. my parents were annoyingly strict that they locked me up at home. i was too smart, i didn't need to study or think things through in school.
i got depression after and i accepted that i was beaten by it made it worse.

i thought that i prefer not to live a life anymore since my depression draws imaginary barriers akin to fear for me. its sad actually that it makes me just not do anything and drives any motivation away from me. my head feels like its not in the right place either. i can't think properly, downing myself, sometimes i even wish I could drink myself to death just like max payne did. It's sad that i also feel that i'm a stranger to the world.

hey, this is my first real story since my 1st account was deleted... =)
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2 Responses Dec 10, 2012

.................No one knows everything,
I think maybe we lie to ourselves thinking we do,
Just so that we can save ourselves from experiencing the thrill of getting to know something new......
I believe it is all about fear and limiting ourselves,
In a comfort zone...........
To feel that we are protecting ourselves from unwanted experiences.......
But true growth lies outside the comfort always what I tell myself before I allow pride to limit myself.

I'm a stranger in this fake world too. I prefer the hippie life anyway :) earthly accomplishments don't mean much anyways and won't very soon...though that doesn't mean we can't be of use to help other people in need though, least if we won't live for ourselves we can live to make other people's lives better, swatting ourselves aside to do greater good for the miserable against our own misery, like a type of therapy? Dunno, whatever works. :)

Do you consider it selfish?

"I guess when we talk about our paths/alignment I prefer to look out more for myself then others."

Unfortunately that rings selfishness in terms of humanity.

Not until you learn sacrifice and selflessness and placing others before your own needs. Yes we must take care of ourselves but we're responsible for everyone else too that are in our reach because every life counts for someone including themselves. I think you're afraid of disappointment and fear of abandonship than anything in this situation, human to feel that way yes.

It's the matter of the heart. Yes they are, everyone is. My life has been full of damnation and suffering I'm tired of living in it and I'm sick of seeing other people go through it too thats why I care. Maybe not people who lack compassion and empathy for other souls but as a Christian the way Christ died for us is a symbolic in the nature we're capable of in the manner of selfless sacrifice and love for humanity. Such as this scripture that's an icon in the biblical history:

John 3:16 (NIV) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Yes we're different but thats what makes everyone unique. I was merely expressing why I feel the way I do, no worries. Religious discussion is meant to be peaceful anyway, not argumentative. Though I do wonder why you feel the way you do its a very...distant estrangement.


I don't do debates, only conversation. It's about proving a point but to share views.

Not about*

Back to what you said for a second: "I too have a soft spot for some people but I dont consider helping them as a responsibility. I could do it in a whim, if I feel like it"

Here is a quote: C.S. Lewis put it this way: if a man sees another in danger, the first instinct is to rush to help (altruism). But a second voice intervenes and says, “No, don’t endanger yourself,” which is in keeping with self-preservation. But then a third voice comes into play and says, “No, you ought to help.” Where does that third voice come from, asks Lewis? This is what is referred to as the “ought-ness” of life.

Someone decided to stalk me (liking my posts here) and I realized how much I have learned since this discussion so...I decided to take a jab at it one last time lol.

No lol it was a friend in my circle :P Though you've been tailing me too! (I'm always watching! ಠ_ಠ)

That's fine, I usually keep an eye on my circle's activity too lol, following their posts is fun :)

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