Just Me....Diagnosed a while ago.
Probably strugling with ptsd all my life.
Still trying to accept the fact that my biological parents didnt want me and my adaptive parents tried theire best but it didn't workout.....
Not them to blame.
But because of it,I can't help feeling rejected alone and very ,very angry at the world.....and everyone in my surrounding. Especially my partner has to eat my **** alot while he is my rock that's keep me alive and steady. I'm not joking by the way...
Distruction and chaos is all that Iam.
Always inbetween being oversensitive and emotional numbness.
I can feel the pain of a child,just felldown on the playgrnd just infront of me.
Or when I get beatenup by a group of 3 people,I do not give A kick.... I do not feel. I go true it like having a day to day conversation...
My rational thinking tells me it I'll come my way,meaning that I will turn to my self with so called distructive behaviour. by o.d or using,cutting my arms so I see I'm alive. By fighting random people on the street. Or by sleeping around just for the sake of having sex,to feel other than the pain that eats you daily
considering death as a true and only option to be released of all of this.
Being 30 and desprate for An Anwser
........ Anyone with similar story......
javspucca 26-30, F 1 Response 0 Dec 31, 2012