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Nothing Left

I'm 15, which i guess is a typical age to be sad. back in november i had a boyfriend that i fell for instantly-he is not my problem this is just where it all began. i pretty much sucked up all time that i had to be with him. including school. i am completely over my ex boyfriend but i spent so much time being depressed over him that the chain reaction ended me up where i am. i know this seems typical and everyone goes through this but i have tried so hard to get where i am now. i lost every single one of my friends, at lunch i would try to sit with my table and they told me "no youre not sitting there". i developed a reputation of being a '*****', 'drug addict', 'crackwhore', and 'hoe'. (the hickeys my ex left me didnt help these rumors). eight people have asked me if i'm pregnant. since i wasnt going to school and my grades dropped soo much, i lost my dad (the only family member i have). i was a **** up. i did so many drugs including cocaine, xanex, hydros, weed, ecstasy,mushrrooms, and more. i have tried so hard these last few months and things just dont get better. i have legal problems and my dad has been so uptight with money issues and i have been going to school everyday and not skipping despite my hate for everyone there. rumors continue to go on and its physically killing me. a girl fought me. and yet, just when i reach rock bottom, jacob comes along. a really cute boy and uses me. i did the right thing and blocked him out once i found out he slept with my ex bestfriend-which he was fully awre of- but it hurts not having someone to talk to. i need to know everything is going to be okay. i need to know that there is hope for me in the future. i need to hear someone care about me that genuinely means it but there is no one there. and i have nothing left. 
someone help m
lilybug9621 lilybug9621 16-17 May 20, 2012

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