The Only Thing Stopping Me Is The Pain I Will Cause My Family.

I'm 18 years old. I have been suffering from depression for a few years now, but back then I didn't know what it was. I recently got friendly with a girl and my depression started to get worse and I started having suicidal thoughts. She basically tossed me aside and went back to her ex. I now feel completely destroyed as a person and the suicidal thoughts are more constant now. Maybe I should man up and stop being pathetic, but I'm not as strong as most people. I have no one to talk to and now I'm here just looking for some help...I just need to talk to someone.
Jacobisnotmyrealname Jacobisnotmyrealname
1 Response Jan 11, 2013

It's not a matter of "manning up", or of you being weak. It's a "glitch."

I don't have a fix. If there was a simple one then there'd be no need for this group. But talking about it (either online or in real life) is definitely a great start. If there's someone you can tell in real life, do so. Just to put it to words. If not, that's what this group is for.

Without taking attention away from your post, let me just add that I'm more than twice your age but my situation isn't all that different. Horrible drama with a woman, leading to a complete sense of separation from the world and an ache to get out of my skin and out of this life, followed by resolve to do it. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, just keep talking. Tell anyone. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger on the bus, or people on a web site. If you feel the need to do it- talk about it instead.

Also, if you have the option, I can't recommend professional help strongly enough! I never saw a mental health professional of any kind ever in my life until 6 months ago. Now I'm seeing a therapist, which is like a strong wind blowing the dull gray gloom out of my head, and a psychiatrist (Xanax is an absolute life saver!). There's no shame to it, which actually came as a surprise to me. If you break a bone then you go to a doctor to help fix it. If it's your psyche that's broken, there are doctors who are amazing at fixing that too.

Above all, know that you're not alone.