Times Running Out

we got into a big fight again she said she cant go on living like this with me I need to come right and I tried to explain but she just kept twisting it . does not want me to leave but my choice. this is suppose to be good news I am free if choose to be.Easier said than done.If I leave she wil be alone on the farm not save she says she cant leave.I dont have any where to go but the street we dont have shelters. It does not really matter nothing i say or do will make sense and you will always say there is an alternative. I dont know who I am ,what I am,want  what, my purpose is here on this earth I need those things and I cant find them.Anyway if I leave I will be on my own but then again thats how I spent most my life.Me comming here is just grabing at straw.


Blind Blind
36-40, F
2 Responses Aug 14, 2007

I wish I had something to hang onto rigth now i am just grabing at straw hoping to find something,because no one really wants to die just sometimes there is no other way!

I have only been on EP for a few days,but, I came here accidentally. I was googling suicide. I have the same thoughts too often for my taste, but I always think of my six yr old son. He is my turning point. He brings me back no matter how close I come. Surely,something must hold you to this beautiful Mother-earth? Peace,J