She Knows

My partner found out that I am posting in ep and talking on the net and she reacted exactly the way I expected, hence the reason I did not tell her. She freaked out I tried to explain but she does not listen she thinks I am having an affair of some shorts. She has no idea who I really am and she never will. She is trying to stop me from coming online, but this morning she had to go to town she locked the office but I got in trough a window. Online is my lifeline and I can’t lose it right now because I might lose myself. Its so ironic I am trapped but I am not I cant do what I feel like doing cant say what I really feel, cant leave because then I end up on the streets and then there is no point in fighting.

But then again who cares and what’s the point anyway I can’t change who I am and if I cant change it will never be ok………… 

Blind Blind
36-40, F
8 Responses Aug 14, 2007

"my partner"-"she". You are a girl. So... you are a lesbian? Then why did you joined, or even worse-founded the group "I am not gay"?

In a relationship someone must be the "man". A man has authority because of his self-trust. Trust yourself more, be firm and rise walls around you-walls that others cannot breach. You must show your strength to it's highest potential so that you partner (lesbian or whatever) will be able to rely on you.

Where does it say he/she is a girl??

" Blind 36-40, F"

"She freaked out I tried to explain but she does not listen she thinks I am having an affair of some shorts."

i agree with spikegirl65,if u stay it has a good chance of getting worse.If u do talk to her and she lets u on the net then i would try to work things out.<br />
You already know you dont want to live this way.I wish i knew u,i would offer my couch so u could get out of that relationship,just looked at the date u posted hope thing ar better now

Your partner sounds very controlling and insecure. You are an adult and have every right to talk to whomever you please. Don't let her control you - tell her how you feel and maybe even reassure her by taking her to this website and letting her read some of the post and responses (not necessarily your own if you are sharing things your not ready to tell her), so she can see what this site is about. The kind of control she is exhibiting is typical of an abusive personality and if you allow her to dominate you in these ways, it may get worse. Isolation is almost always present in abusive relationships and I am well aware that guys have an even harder time reaching out for help. If you need to talk I am here for you. :)

Go and be free.. fear closes the door that is open, you will be safe, you will, what would you tell your best friend to do? Well your inner child needs you, take care of yourself, you will be ok if you leave, things like that have a way of working out, I should know I was in many abusive and unhealthy relationships and fear only keeps you there, hurting. *Sends you strength*

Your partner should accect you for who you are, and if she doesn't then maybe its time you thought of finding someone who will help you thru everything not try and restrict you from the internet.<br />
best of luck with everything it sounds like a tuff road ahead, always smile there will come a day when things get better =]<br />
always here if you need to chat<br />
brokensound xxx

Your partner should accect you for who you are, and if she doesn't then maybe its time you thought of finding someone who will help you thru everything not try and restrict you from the internet.<br />
best of luck with everything it sounds like a tuff road ahead, always smile there will come a day when things get better =]<br />
always here if you need to chat<br />
brokensound xxx

Your partner should accect you for who you are, and if she doesn't then maybe its time you thought of finding someone who will help you thru everything not try and restrict you from the internet.<br />
best of luck with everything it sounds like a tuff road ahead, always smile there will come a day when things get better =]<br />
always here if you need to chat<br />
brokensound xxx

You can change it. It just takes very hard work to do it and you have to WANT to do it. I was suicidal, and that was how I found this site. No-one ever knows what is going on inside anothers mind. EVER. If she is not supportive for you, then you need to move on. It takes a strong soul to deal with people who are depressed and suicidal. My husband has always been there for me, through the good times and the bad times too. Their is always a point in fighting. It means life or death. Chin up buddy. Peace and Love, J