Careless As I Get Older

Well, I'm 17 currently, and just today I had tried on an old prom dress to see if it still fit. It didn't....
Last year, (my junior year in high school) I went to prom as a size 6.
The dress is now very tight on my bust area which is what I naturally have always had a problem with but this time it was tight enough to squeeze me noticeably excessively when I breathed. Typically, zipping a zipper is always hard to do by yourself--but this time I had to squeeze, suck in a few breaths here and there and wriggle myself in there. I found myself panting like something from a movie or TV comedy show in this situation.
I've never gotten to this point when I absolutely had trouble with weight and nor has it happened as fast either... This year is my senior prom and I want to be in a good fitting dress because it is more and very special to me now. And quite frankly I refuse to wear a ******* size 7. For the first three years of high school I stayed in the size 6 range and now this! I don't understand why it happened now!
I knew I gained weight but I didn't think it would be much of an issue as I did not really care about my weight before. It was what it was. I actually quite enjoyed eating what I liked and as often as I wanted and being in the 120's even though it was an awkward stage of fat to me. No matter what I stayed in the 120's.....BUT NOW I'm approaching 130's and fast. I don't know what I'm doing wrong now after all these years of trying to lose weight (Which ALWAYS Failed). I hate my body only because of what it does and because it does not comply with me at all, OR even meet me half way! I don't understand this.
Overall, I just want to be a size 6 this year in all my high school events WITH NO friggin EXCEPTIONS. The completely my issue is that a Military Ball is coming up in March and I do not want to look worse than what I already did look like (awkward fat stage is what I call it, not quite fat but not exactly skinny either).
I don't know what to do. It is winter here so it's hard to work out by running or walking (chilly and windy weather). The air is at the point where it kind of hurts to breathe in the cold air. I can't get a gym membership because I'm busy with finals and school with many other deal-breaking factors. I don't have much equipment or things I can do with at home. I'm NOT trying to gain muscle really so push-ups etc wouldn't work, I do that enough anyway in 2 days of the week I have physical training (PT) in school.
The most effective way I had lost some fatty-ness was specifically when I traveled a lot and went to hotels because I would swim literally for hours, and also one summer I used to run about 3 miles for 3-4 days EACH of the week as a part of a summer police program. I don't know what to do!! Help please

Keep note I have always never been able to lose a significant amount of weight even when I tried (eating healthy and working out). Neither have I ever gained a lot of weight by doing what I wanted and ate, I just lost muscle replaced with fat and vice versa when I tried losing weight. This problem hasn't happened until now. I want to look great when I look back at this prom picture. I also want to learn better habits.

I am not complaining about my weight just for the pity-sake of it, I just want to fit into my dress for my senior and most important prom, and needed to get this complaining out as I don't want anyone to know the effective weight-gain I've gotten. I just want to look nice and enjoy myself with a nice boy if someone even wants to risk it with me! Sorry you had to read this BS, if you did........

Just needed to rant.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 16, 2013