My Personal Weight Battle

About 3 years into a really bad relationship, at the age of 30, I started seeing myself as this woman that would never find real love again.  I began to tell myself that it did not matter how I looked anymore, infact, I felt as though I did not care anymore. For the first time ever in my life I would get up at around 2am and eat; this was not a regular routine but this was the start of my emotional eating.  I became less active and more depressed.  I stayed home and watched tv and ate more.  Within 6 moths I had gained 60lbs.  Of course I knew I was gaining weight but, it was'nt until after I married another form of an abuser that the weight started taking its toll on me.  I have gained even more weight and actualy cry about it now.  It hurts me so bad that I allowed myself to get this way. 

indymomof2 indymomof2
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2010

Thanks Zotz123! I know, I relly need a fresh start and this wont happen until I can get rid of the dead weight, literally! I would love the option of surgery, however, coming up with the money to do this before insurance would cover it is the bigger problem. I am considering committing myself to Weight Watchers, but, honestly it is the motivation that I lack. I will keep EP posted on what goes on. I pray for the strength, the will and motivation to lose all my weight including him. :)

Hon, you're truly in a bad situation. Have you told the newest jerk to hit the road? Improvement has to start somewhere, and to me he would be the obvious start. Once you've got that out of the way, you can lose some pounds. I've got several friends who've been through surgery to get rid of weight. Do you have health insurance? Could that be a possibility? We all know that there are all kinds of for-profit groups that help people lose weight, with or without special products. Do any of your friends belong to one of those groups? You could ask them how it's going. You could make a list of "comfort foods" that you will never buy any more at the supermarket. No snacks except raw celery, for example. Many people have dealt, successfully, with your kind of weight problem before and I'll bet that if you try hard enough you'll be able to do it too.<br />
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Take care,<br />
Zotz123