My Worst Critic
My worst critic: ME!
I have always been the type to really be hard on myself - I do expect perfection - from myself more than anyone else. I get so frustrated with myself when I don't live up to MY expectations.
Lately, this has become worse for me. I have reached an age (many of you have already read this in my other stories) where I am re-examining my life - looking back and looking ahead. I am proud of many of my accomplishments (which I am having to remind myself of because I am dwelling on the negative a lot) - I finished college in 4 years with a double major (all I think about is the fact that I could have gotten better grades ), I was a missionary in a Juvenile Prison Facility (all I think about is all the weight I gained "eating" the kids problems), I went to graduate school and graduated with a 3.85 (all I think about is the fact that I changed my graduate assistantship from Career Services to Financial Aid and the fact that it was a huge mistake - I hated working in Financial Aid) - and this is just the beginning.
Do you see my problem? I can't seem to give myself a break or give myself credit where credit is due - every accomplishment I downplay with some part of it that wasn't PERFECT. So, now I can beat myself up for this too - that I am beating myself up - and I am 43 and haven't learned that perfection is unattainable! A vicious cycle - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
So, reading this, I hope that some of you that are struggling with Perfectionism or thinking you should be further along in your life - I hope that I make you feel better! (LOL!)
I guess I should give myself credit for knowing my imperfections and realizing I need to give myself a break - but what has taken me so long??? (You see, I did it again! I did that on purpose - I had to lighten the mood somehow!)