I care too much about everything. I don't know what to do about it. I want to know what I did wrong and why I was bad and what I can do to improve myself. It's exhausting. I am so tired of trying to fix what is wrong with myself and hating myself for tiny things.
Tonight my fiance told me he wanted to go visit a friend for a night since we are staying at my parents' house until we get married this Saturday and he felt cooped up in the house. I got so upset and cried and kept asking him what I did wrong to drive him from the house. He would answer that there was nothing I did wrong. The fifth time I asked he began to laugh. Then I got more mad because he was laughing at me crying. I was so upset that he wouldn't tell me what I did to drive him away. The truth is that he just wanted to hang out with his buddy. I am so driven to perfection and so driven to make everyone happy that I have become a miserable mess. I feel anxious and unworthy to marry this man. Part of me knows that this is not true, but parts of me feel like I can't be married to anyone until I am the perfect spouse. So, as the days get closer to the wedding, I dislike everything about myself more and more. I feel so on edge and so close to completely hating myself. I need help. What happens when my husband finally does get tired of my irrational fear over making mistakes or of upsetting people?