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Whether It's Intentional Or Not Depends

Since I can remember, I've been friends with most of my teachers. Even those I don't like or even hate. There's been maybe 3 I didn't become friends with and for good reason. I'll be a senior in high school this year. Total, I've had 43 teachers, not counting the 9 I'll have this year (I've moved a lot...). I didn't count preschool, either. Or the kindergarten I went to in the afternoons after my first one got out at noon.

Anyways.

Whether I mean to or not, I usually become friends with my teachers anyway. If I don't mean to but it happens anyway, it's because I'm a good student, I'm always here on time and if I'm not I have a reasonable excuse (which they usually disregard the tardy for because of it :) yay), I'm quiet, and I'm respectful. That's why they get to like me. If I become friends with a teacher on purpose, though, well...

I've found that if I become friends with some teachers, I can manipulate them into bending a rule for my advantage, say on a grade or something. I've done it more than once...I do it in a really sneaky way though so they would never guess unless they're like, God or something. The last person I did it to...actually, I did it to two last year. I did it to my english/creative writing teacher, and with my art teacher as well. I'm super glad I did it to the first guy, because he let me write on things for essays and such that he normally would've said no to. I'm a good writer, though. I think he also trusted me to be able to do it and relate it to the topic. With my art teacher, though, I mainly did that to get out of things. I'm sure she thinks I'm a little odd, now...not many teachers know about my social anxiety. But with her making us critique others' work orally, she had to be told about it. She let me do a written critique more than once just because I talked to her. And she did that for the rest of the year. Score! (I'm not sure if it was something I said or not, but still, it was a good thing!)

Teachers like talking to me. They get bummed when I have to go sometimes if we've been talking. I've heard from them that I'm easy to talk to, respectful, and articulate. I'm more adult than most students my age. I've been around adults all my life, so I just work with them better. Teachers see that pretty quickly. It's not even second semester and already I have them as equals. If I come up to them, they don't just assume it's about school, which is nice. They'll talk to me like an adult, not a teenager who might misunderstand some things. They talk about things that frustrate them, their family, their life in general, and just personal views sometimes. I'm such a capable student that they're sometimes surprised if I come up to them and it's about school. Teachers always remember me even before I made the effort to befriend them, so I figure why shouldn't I make friends with them? They're people too.
chococat159 chococat159 18-21 1 Response Aug 27, 2011

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Using friendship to manipulate teachers is not necessarily a good idea, but I'm sure that in your situation, it's not as bad as it seems. You are obviously capable of making sure it doesn't go too far.



You say that you're friends with many of your teachers. How friendly are you? Do you just say hello when you see them, or do you talk to them outside of class. What do you usually talk to them about? For the teachers that you intentionally made friends with, how did you go about doing that?

I say hi to them in the halls and basically treat them like human beings, not teachers. Students are sometimes disrespectul towards teachers because they don't remember that they have emotions too. I respect those and ask them how they're doing, make small talk with them, etc. I don't often go out of my way to talk to them, but I will if I see them in the halls outside of class. I just talk to them like we're equals, I just happen to be a student and they just happen to be a teacher. I can relate to them on many levels often.

If I want to be friends with one, I give it a month usually just to get their vibe. I make sure to be nice and give them the idea that I'm one of the more respectful, adult students. If they mention something about their homelife, I ask them about it so they know I'm interested in the person underneath the teachings. In the end they'll treat me like an equal too, like they'll talk about their personal life or if they're frustrated about something. I think it's a better environment if you and the teacher see eye-to-eye.

My dad is a college president and knows a lot of people, so I'm pretty good at talking to adults from seeing him do it. I'm not so good at talking to teenagers and younger, but I can keep a conversation going for hours if I'm around adults. I just direct that towards teachers now.

I feel that way too, sometimes. When I'm talking to my peers, many of them just want to talk about boys, clothes and makeup. I'm not interested in that. When I'm talking to my teachers, I find they're more mature and I enjoy their company more.

On the other hand, I don't really talk to my teachers much about their personal life. It could be that they just don't know me well enough, or it might be the culture in our school (for some reason, the teachers seem a little reluctant to get close to the students), but they generally try to keep the relationship very professional. When I talk to teachers outside of class (which I like to do and I do very often), then I usually talk to them about things related to their subject or about learning in general. I'd really like them to open up and talk to me about their family and their feelings. I just don't know how to make them feel comfortable with that. I've been with many of these teachers for the past 4 years, but they still seem to feel more comfortable speaking with their colleagues than with me.