The Life Of A Step-mom.

Hi friends!

A few months ago I wrote telling you about my problems.  Back then I was about to get married and had a lot of trouble with my husband's three boys.  I finally decided to go through with it and toughen up.  I am now married to a wonderful man and make part of his wonderful family. 

I must say that I never thought I'd have to be a step-mother.  My mom had a step-mother when she was young and she never got along with her.  I've always heard the horrible stories about "the woman who married my father" (my mom's father) and the evil things that she did to my mom.  That is the person that I am trying to avoid being.

My step-children are fantastic.  After the wedding everything changed.  They no longer were mad, rude or violent.  Now we are trying to be good friends.  And to be honest, I think that is the best way.  Although I had to impose some rules around the house, I didn't come to be their mom or to try to replace her.  I am only trying to be their friend and treat them with kindness.  I have seen a very good change in them over the past few months.  Seems that they have gone from hating me to liking me.  And the youngest one - 3 years old - actually seems to love me.

But even so, I am still having a hard time with things from time to time.  Being a step-mom requires patience towards the children, their actual mother and most of all my husband.  Our biggest issues have been about the way he has chosen to disciplin his children.  From what I have read from other women's experiences, fathers tend to have some kind of guilty attitude towards their children so they don't discipline them.  My husband seems to be the same, so a lot of the discipline in this house hold, has to come from me.  Of course after a few months and a lot of arguments, he has seen that by being so "soft" towards them, he's only doing damage to them.  Now we are trying to change things and show the children that they can't walk all over us.  

So it has been a tough road so far, but it's definitely worth it.  The day these kids warm up to me will be a really good day, and I can see the progress already.  Besides that, my husband has been very understanding on my situation and has tried to make the transition easier for me.  That's why today we are so happy. 

Being a step-mom is not a synonim of being a witch.  It doesn't mean that your life will be miserable forever and that you'll never get your way.  It only means that you have to try harder to be happy.

Until next time!

amv005 amv005
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 21, 2010

With all the horrible stories about step-parents it is great to finally get some good ones out there. My step daughter and I get along great. Her Father and I married when she was 6, he died in 2006 but she is still "my daughter" in every way. We (her Father and I) had our son and truthfully my love can not tell the difference between her and my son. She is now 32 yrs old and still calls me daily. And "yes" her bio Mom and her have a wonderful relationship also.