I Being Cheated On By My Husband
After being married for so many years and relocating to a new place, I thought my life would take some new and fascinating turns, but I never expected this.
I had been married to my husband for 15 yrs when we decided to relocate and try a new part of the country. With all the newness came lots of new experiences -new jobs, home, friends etc..., It was exciting and scary at times too but it goes with the territory. Anyway, one night I decided to stop by and see my husband at the bar/restaurant that he was working security at. When I walked up I could sense this weird uncomfortableness about him. A few feet away from him was a girl standing outside i believe smoking a cigarette. I took a good look at her and looked in her eyes and read something was off. She had that lustful look in her eyes and smirky smile every time she looked at my husband. I actually felt like walking over to her and asking her what the **** was her problem? I could see he was very uncomfortable that I was standing there and was making no attempt to be warm in his conversation. I wish I would have stuck around longer to follow my intuition that evening. After that evening I asked him about her but he shrugged it off that she was just a frequent customer there and I sort of bought it , especially since I felt like what would my husband want with a Big girl like that. Not that I am some skinny chic, I am short and curvy but definitely not the size she was!!
A few days go by and in the interim we are dealing with our dog that was hospitalized due to being hit by a car. I stop by at his job again and I see that girl again. I start wondering and this time I stay til the end of the night when they close. My husband is acting a little irritated and now I know why, because I obviously had ruined whatever time they were going to spend. We go home and he was a little cool and abrasive but I shrug some of this off due to the stress of our dog possibly dying. A few nights later he is back at work and that night he comes home much later than expected. I am furious and suspicious. I confront him as I can see he had too much to drink and has that glazed look in his eyes. When he goes to sleep I take his phone and look at the calls. I see he had a text message from a girl (the girl I had suspected) and I read it. I tried to be cool so I could read it and not totally flip out. I called her number and she picked up! I asked her what she was doing with my husband but she got scared and hung up and would not pick up. Then I woke him up and told him what I had discovered. I was so flippin pissed and all he could say was that she was a nurse and moving out of state and was just saying goodbye. He said they only talked just as friends because she was a regular at the club and that was really all. But c'mon, I'm not stupid but I listened intently and let him explain it out as he wished. That night and the next day he was trying so hard to make me believe that he loved me and would never jeopardize our marriage. Yeah right!!
Now fast forward to a recent trip about 5 months ago where my husband goes on a trip to Vegas to celebrate his friends 50th birthday. Prior to this trip everything seemed good with us. We had just been away at the beach and enjoyed visiting family and friends. He was sad and depressed at times in the summer due to missing his career he had retired early from and just not sure if the move here was actually the right thing but we as a couple seemed fine. Anyway he reluctantly goes on this trip and calls me from Vegas telling me how he was actually having a good time. He and the group of guys were enjoying the earlier part of the week and taking in the sights. By the end of the week when he called again things seemed weird. Just some of the things he was saying were starting to make me wonder. But he comes home and then we are off to another beach trip. It's not a week later when I get home from work one day that i could see he seems depressed again . I tried to console him but he's quick to anger with me. Later that night I go up to bed and see he has fallen asleep and not charged his phone. So I pick it up to charge it and I see there were recent calls. My curiosity strikes and I open it !! I begin to read text message after text message he is engaged with a girl from California he has met in Vegas. I could not believe my eyes as i go through pictures of her and her friends and a pic of her with MY HUSBAND !!Holy ****!! this was so devastating! Especially reading him spilling his heart out to her. He's telling her how he has not been happy and she's telling him she misses him and doesn't know how this could work out with such distance. She goes on to say that she knows he's married and although has TOLD HER that even though he has had other flings , that they were just flings and they meant nothing and that he would never do that to her!!!! You can't even imagine how my heart sank! It was the middle of the night and all I could do was cry in silence as I kept reading and looking at all this. I kept thinking how could he have done this? No marriage is perfect, I let the other incident go somewhat believing that maybe he was just talking to that other girl but now this?!! We are now married 21 yrs and am thinking I don't know the man I've been with all this time. Is this his pattern a mid life crisis or what? He had all the makings of a mid life crisis. But i don't want to be the victim to all this.
I gather my thoughts at 2:00 am and start saving all the texts and pics to my phone as well as saving her number. I'm thinking I don't know what i'm dealing with so let me save all this info. There is no denying any of this exchange. I start to think could he have just met this girl there, slept with her, fallen for her, all of this in a short trip to Vegas?? I decide to go sleep in a guest room and he comes to find me there crying. He is worried and upset and asks whats wrong when I start hitting him with all the facts. He is so upset and sad and starts telling me it was nothing and that he was wrong to engage in this long distance communication. He cries and spills his heart out but I just can't believe a single word. He tells me there was no sex although he said he did try but she wouldn't go for it. I still don't know what i believe about that. But after all this came out I soon learn that he is obsessed with BIG GIRLS !!! Now that explains that girl back at the club that i could not see him with . This girl too is a big girl. Holy crap has he been cheating on me all this time with BIG GIRLS to satisfy his fetish while being married to me? Has he used the excuse of whenever he felt unappreciated by me as a pass to satisfy this other desire? Is this part of his mid life crisis? He now is in the open about really being attracted to bigger girls and wants me to be bigger. Well, hell I am much bigger than when we got married. I went from 120lbs to 200-210lbs. I'm so confused as we keep trying to work on our marriage. I cry every day at some point. He's trying to make me feel better about all of this. He's apologized immensely and promises that he only wants me and has only wanted me. That he cheated before because he felt unwanted and unappreciated. Now he seems to be doing everything in his power to make me feel special and constantly just does for me. I just don't know what to do as I have loved this man all these years and never ever thought he would do something like this. It has shattered my trust completely, especially since I normally don't trust easily anyway. But for him to do this has killed my trust factor completely. I am such a person of integrity that I could never do this to anyone. I literally feel bewildered and like my marriage was cheapened. It really has crushed me and my spirit. I am still here with him and we have some really good days and things sometimes seem great but when I start thinking too much I get really upset and bring it up. He has tried ti quell my fears but they are my fears and trust is just not there. I hate that this is what has happened in this juncture of my life as we are now married 21 yrs and have a child in college and are more free to enjoy time together. I don't want to throw my marriage away as we have built so much together and in my heart I have and will always love him, but this has left me broken and so confused. I pray that somehow this will work because if I ever left I would Never go back to him. I hate the thought of that and I know it would be painful for us and our child and our families.
I had been married to my husband for 15 yrs when we decided to relocate and try a new part of the country. With all the newness came lots of new experiences -new jobs, home, friends etc..., It was exciting and scary at times too but it goes with the territory. Anyway, one night I decided to stop by and see my husband at the bar/restaurant that he was working security at. When I walked up I could sense this weird uncomfortableness about him. A few feet away from him was a girl standing outside i believe smoking a cigarette. I took a good look at her and looked in her eyes and read something was off. She had that lustful look in her eyes and smirky smile every time she looked at my husband. I actually felt like walking over to her and asking her what the **** was her problem? I could see he was very uncomfortable that I was standing there and was making no attempt to be warm in his conversation. I wish I would have stuck around longer to follow my intuition that evening. After that evening I asked him about her but he shrugged it off that she was just a frequent customer there and I sort of bought it , especially since I felt like what would my husband want with a Big girl like that. Not that I am some skinny chic, I am short and curvy but definitely not the size she was!!
A few days go by and in the interim we are dealing with our dog that was hospitalized due to being hit by a car. I stop by at his job again and I see that girl again. I start wondering and this time I stay til the end of the night when they close. My husband is acting a little irritated and now I know why, because I obviously had ruined whatever time they were going to spend. We go home and he was a little cool and abrasive but I shrug some of this off due to the stress of our dog possibly dying. A few nights later he is back at work and that night he comes home much later than expected. I am furious and suspicious. I confront him as I can see he had too much to drink and has that glazed look in his eyes. When he goes to sleep I take his phone and look at the calls. I see he had a text message from a girl (the girl I had suspected) and I read it. I tried to be cool so I could read it and not totally flip out. I called her number and she picked up! I asked her what she was doing with my husband but she got scared and hung up and would not pick up. Then I woke him up and told him what I had discovered. I was so flippin pissed and all he could say was that she was a nurse and moving out of state and was just saying goodbye. He said they only talked just as friends because she was a regular at the club and that was really all. But c'mon, I'm not stupid but I listened intently and let him explain it out as he wished. That night and the next day he was trying so hard to make me believe that he loved me and would never jeopardize our marriage. Yeah right!!
Now fast forward to a recent trip about 5 months ago where my husband goes on a trip to Vegas to celebrate his friends 50th birthday. Prior to this trip everything seemed good with us. We had just been away at the beach and enjoyed visiting family and friends. He was sad and depressed at times in the summer due to missing his career he had retired early from and just not sure if the move here was actually the right thing but we as a couple seemed fine. Anyway he reluctantly goes on this trip and calls me from Vegas telling me how he was actually having a good time. He and the group of guys were enjoying the earlier part of the week and taking in the sights. By the end of the week when he called again things seemed weird. Just some of the things he was saying were starting to make me wonder. But he comes home and then we are off to another beach trip. It's not a week later when I get home from work one day that i could see he seems depressed again . I tried to console him but he's quick to anger with me. Later that night I go up to bed and see he has fallen asleep and not charged his phone. So I pick it up to charge it and I see there were recent calls. My curiosity strikes and I open it !! I begin to read text message after text message he is engaged with a girl from California he has met in Vegas. I could not believe my eyes as i go through pictures of her and her friends and a pic of her with MY HUSBAND !!Holy ****!! this was so devastating! Especially reading him spilling his heart out to her. He's telling her how he has not been happy and she's telling him she misses him and doesn't know how this could work out with such distance. She goes on to say that she knows he's married and although has TOLD HER that even though he has had other flings , that they were just flings and they meant nothing and that he would never do that to her!!!! You can't even imagine how my heart sank! It was the middle of the night and all I could do was cry in silence as I kept reading and looking at all this. I kept thinking how could he have done this? No marriage is perfect, I let the other incident go somewhat believing that maybe he was just talking to that other girl but now this?!! We are now married 21 yrs and am thinking I don't know the man I've been with all this time. Is this his pattern a mid life crisis or what? He had all the makings of a mid life crisis. But i don't want to be the victim to all this.
I gather my thoughts at 2:00 am and start saving all the texts and pics to my phone as well as saving her number. I'm thinking I don't know what i'm dealing with so let me save all this info. There is no denying any of this exchange. I start to think could he have just met this girl there, slept with her, fallen for her, all of this in a short trip to Vegas?? I decide to go sleep in a guest room and he comes to find me there crying. He is worried and upset and asks whats wrong when I start hitting him with all the facts. He is so upset and sad and starts telling me it was nothing and that he was wrong to engage in this long distance communication. He cries and spills his heart out but I just can't believe a single word. He tells me there was no sex although he said he did try but she wouldn't go for it. I still don't know what i believe about that. But after all this came out I soon learn that he is obsessed with BIG GIRLS !!! Now that explains that girl back at the club that i could not see him with . This girl too is a big girl. Holy crap has he been cheating on me all this time with BIG GIRLS to satisfy his fetish while being married to me? Has he used the excuse of whenever he felt unappreciated by me as a pass to satisfy this other desire? Is this part of his mid life crisis? He now is in the open about really being attracted to bigger girls and wants me to be bigger. Well, hell I am much bigger than when we got married. I went from 120lbs to 200-210lbs. I'm so confused as we keep trying to work on our marriage. I cry every day at some point. He's trying to make me feel better about all of this. He's apologized immensely and promises that he only wants me and has only wanted me. That he cheated before because he felt unwanted and unappreciated. Now he seems to be doing everything in his power to make me feel special and constantly just does for me. I just don't know what to do as I have loved this man all these years and never ever thought he would do something like this. It has shattered my trust completely, especially since I normally don't trust easily anyway. But for him to do this has killed my trust factor completely. I am such a person of integrity that I could never do this to anyone. I literally feel bewildered and like my marriage was cheapened. It really has crushed me and my spirit. I am still here with him and we have some really good days and things sometimes seem great but when I start thinking too much I get really upset and bring it up. He has tried ti quell my fears but they are my fears and trust is just not there. I hate that this is what has happened in this juncture of my life as we are now married 21 yrs and have a child in college and are more free to enjoy time together. I don't want to throw my marriage away as we have built so much together and in my heart I have and will always love him, but this has left me broken and so confused. I pray that somehow this will work because if I ever left I would Never go back to him. I hate the thought of that and I know it would be painful for us and our child and our families.
By:
2lonelynow
Age:
36-40
,
Female
