How Do I Move On From Hurt And Betrayal Caused By Cheating?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. We have had a lot of ups and downs but for the past year and a half we have been really good. We act like a couple whose just got together and is all loved up, his my soul mate and I am his. From the way be acts towards me and how he treats me I can tell his so in love with me and I am too. I always have known his Facebook password which I found out by accident i checked his page rarely but I never told my boyfriend I knew, he was a bit of a bad boy when we started going out and it was my way of checking he wasn't doing wrong but I did trust him 100%. He did used to talk to some girls on there but they were his friends and I didn't have a problem with that. One night he went out for an Indian with the 'boys' from work the he text to say loads of them was there for a wife's birthday, any way he text to say he was home and going to bed - that was fine I went to sleep too. The next day I checked his page and this woman was trying to add him, I never had a problem with that but this time I had a funny feeling so I checked her wall, she was ok looking but she was 30 and we are only 20 so I brushed it off. Until I noticied he had accepted another friend request but not this woman's I immediately I started to have suspicions. I questioned him as to how he got home the night before and he had a story all straight and I believed him. That night we went out and he was a bit quiet, he started going on about how some of the women the night before was saying he was good looking, that was weird as he is very good looking but he doesn't think he is and doesn't ever make comments like that. Next day was the Sunday and he was very quiet he went to watch the football and then usually comes to mine but he didnt, I strangly had the right hump with him. This carried on until the Tuesday I didn't hear a peep out of him and he was working away which didnt help. This woman who added him was bugging me so I accepted the friend request to see what happened. Well more fool me. She started writing to him about how good he was the other night and he was retiring the compliments asking to meet again. I rang him straight away saying I was reading everything, I could tell he was drunk as it was his work colleagues birthday so they went to the pub. He admitted everything and said there was no going back he was sorry but he knew I would never forgive him, he didnt sound bothered at all. I then got on his Facebook again and he was still talking to her that night even though he knew I had found out I was so hurt and distraught, I rang him again and when I said I can still see it all he hung up and wouldn't pick up again. The next day he wouldn't leave me alone he said he was drunk and didnt know what he was talking about the same with that night he couldn't remember a thing. After days of hassling me I met up with him and he was so distraught he said he made the biggest mistake of his life and doesn't know why he did it. I agreed to take him back and he hasn't spoke to this woman again he has been trying so hard with me to win me back and things have got better over the past 2 months. I can't help but feel so betrayed and hurt, I think about it all the time some days I'm ok then I'm not. I'm fine when in with him but when were not i hate him and don't want to see him. Please help me? I don't know what to do.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 8, 2013