Love Makingtips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL off!)

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write your partner's name on your hand in case you
can't remember……..

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice!!!

Remember:

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the toilet.
'OLD' IS WHEN.... You're not sure if these are facts or bad jokes.
sharossody sharossody
70+, F
2 Responses Jul 21, 2010

uuummmm... I dont know, perhaps a douche!!

Holy sh*t, S, you got me on the floor here! I'm so going to have my artillery choke full with ammunition with all these, LOL LOL.<br />
<br />
One line makes me remember something a friend told me. It didn't happen because of age but funny all the same. If the guy was helping you writing this list, he'd probably say, "Remember to scream your partner's name, NOT your own name!"