Wanted

I would love to be reborn as a female only then could I truely be the person I have always wanted to be. I could finally dress and act the way I have always wanted to be without, ridicule, cruelty, evil stares, finger pointing, or the wispers they think I cannot hear.  I would feel comfortable for once in my life instead of the uncomfort and insecurity I feel now trying to be a woman.  I would be able to make love to men as a woman to be able to feel as they do.  I would not feel that everyone looks at me in that way that they all do in this world of today.  I know that what I am is more acceptable now then it was fouty five years ago when I was born, but there is still hatred in this world.  I wouldn't of had to wait fourty five years to be what I have always wanted to be.  I would be able to feel the joys of giving birth to my child as a woman that I have always wanted to do.  I would truely finally be included in girls talk and girls night that I so wanted to be included in and accepted in by other women.  Being re-born as a girl is what I have truely wanted since I was born as a boy. 
Jessica1967 Jessica1967
41-45, T
5 Responses Jan 21, 2013

I feel you on that I know that desire and longing that one day to have been born female and never having to fight or toil about what I am. What ever you do though be who you are and life may take it's sweet time to come around to you but life will change for you as it does for all.

Being re-born as a girl might just happen for you. However, it would be good to make the most of what you have now, and in the meantime, just enjoy the support from your friends on EP for example!

I feel the same way, but then I think of all the great experiences I had as a man that I would never had as a woman. Vietnam, my loves, my family and the thrill of crossdressing. I am very happy now living as a woman and do still wish I had been born female but there have been compensations

It is full of sadness and longing. I often feel the same. before as John I feared the finger, whispers and talking behind the back. As Rose I do not give a rats posterior about all of that. I will be me no matter what others say. Both you and bahli are right though. there those that are so female on the outside you would never know that they were male and there are those that just look like a dude in a dress. Most of it depends on when they start hrt and how masculine they are to start with.

I liked your story. It seemed sad though and full of unfulfilled longing. I myself don't know if I would like to be a full woman. Sometimes I wonder. I think I would be content with just being preceived on the outside as a woman and developing the sensetivities of a woman on the inside.

There is only one true way to be percieved as that of a woman and that is be one in my honest opinion. Sure they can do wonders now on the outside appearence of a man to make them look more feminine if you have the money to do so. Even then someone will still be able to tell you were not born as a woman and that you are a man dressed as a woman which still isn't accepted in most places in this world today.

I understand completely what you are saying and there are many men's pictures that I have seen who are dressed as women and it is obvious that they are men, but then there are some, and maybe more then you think that simply look georgeous and can't be identified as any thing but a woman when they are dressed. It is simply amazing to me how some men can look so much like beautiful women.

This is true, but I am not one of them that are so lucky.

We are in the same boat there but it doesn't stop me from getting en fem when ever I can. The best part for me so far is being out en fem in the general public. Not to say that I don't love being with another cd in the way we like to be. You can read my EP stories about that if you want to and comment if you feel you want to.

I am truely sorry for the things that were done to you while growing up and comming out to be you, but for the rest of your story I am also glad for you that you feel this way now as you do and can truely be accepted as who you are.

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