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Last Night

I work as a nurse and last night a patient died.

Her daughter got to the hospital in time to sit with her mother for twenty minutes or so but her son was just seconds too late.

The son was distraught and his sister told him that he was in time and that their mother was still alive as he held her and she died soon after.

Thinking about this now I think this was a beautiful lie

Orangetas Orangetas 51-55, F 11 Responses Nov 13, 2012

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And you are beautiful nurse for knowing and sharing this story. Most are clueless but you'r experience in life shows.

I beleave that was the best thang for the sister to do

I have great admiration for nurses (dated two and heard all types of stories). I know it can be very sad at times. I do not advocate lying, but in this case, it seemed the humane thing to do. After all, how would the son have felt if the sister said "Oh, you're just too late"?

with out a doubt!

Surely this shows the sisters love for both her mother and her brother. An entirely selfless lie.

Yes, I think so. I was sad because of the ladys death but it was not unexpected. The daughter had been that day and knew that very well. She really felt for her brother who (finds all things with hospitals hard) had rushed over but was just seconds too late. he held his mum close and told her he loved her.
I truly believe it was a beautiful lie.

I would have done the same prolly.

Well, I guess it saves him a lot of turmoil, though I'm not sure I would have done the same myself. His sister must have been pretty composed, herself, to be able to.

No, the sister was very distressed too but I think it helped her being able to help him. Why would you not have done the same? Because it was not the truth?
I think there are many truths that are not necessary to say. In fact I think I lie every day.

You lie every day?! Well that's a shocker... For someone who goes months at a time, if not years without lying, telling a whopper like one's mother, who's just died, is still alive... Wouldn't be comfortable with it at all :(

Hmmm .. I wonder.
Ok, for example. If I crying inside or seething with rage and I take the dog out. I meet lots of people on my walk they ask how I am. " Oh fine thank you, how are you?" I am not fine at all but I say I am. I dont lie to close friends but then maybe I would if I took their dog to the vet to be put to sleep and they asked how it went, regardless, I think I would say that it was very peaceful the dog just closed his eyes and didnt even feel the needle go in.

I think that orangetas is saying that in the medical field you find small things in the time and event of death or extreme matters....there are moments when you spare the loved one the truth because it is not imporant in the pictuere as a whole....that man would gave suffered great guilt on top of his grief for not making it on time before his mother died....his sister spared him that suffering by not telling him but allowing him to have his last noments with his mother...I too value truth....but sparing someone the truth when its irrelevant and can cause great turmoil can be a real sign of love....

I understand what she did and why, lilMinx; I just would have chosen differently myself, for many reasons - and not for lack of love, either. It's a value judgement really, and dependent on many things, such as family dynamics, the relationship between the two and so-on. I hope, for the family's sake, it worked for them; and from Orangetas's observation, it certainly seemed to.

I'm really curious, JMO....have you really gone months or years without telling a little white lie...like for instance saying food someone cooked was good even though maybe it wasn't great? I do things like that to spare people's feelings.

Absolutely. I was staying-over at an aunt's once, and she made a meal especially for me because - yes, call me rude - I mentioned, quite honestly, that I hadn't enjoyed what had been served. She then asked me who cooks that dish better, she or my Mum. I reminded her that I give an honest answer, and she said I should tell her anyway. So I did. She didn't mind. She's like that herself too. That's why she's my favourite aunt, bless her. All my friends know rule number one is no bullshit. If they can't be honest, they can walk out of the door and stay out. So much easier that way, I find. Of course, I don't have many friends, but I can live with that :)

So, do you consider people who would just say that the food was good as having a dishonest character?

Nope. They're upholding social convention; and if they're true friends, why such formality? And I'd tell them to their face if I thought they were BS'ing. What's the need for it? People mess-up cooking sometimes!

Gosh! Just goes to show how very different we all are. I went to a dinner party just nights ago. The presentation was wonderful and it was obvious the hostess had made a huge effort.
None of the dishes would have been my choice but NO WAY would I have said that, I told her it was all really lovely!

I know it can be awkward sometimes, and I know prep takes ages. There have been times I have sincerely said:"Thanks for taking so much time to prepare all this food for us!" and meant it, and not lied either :) I know -- people are so different! I get into *so*much* trouble though, when I just latch-up and won't talk, to avoid having to speak untruthfully. That winds people up good and proper. Some people just learn to put up with me though, luckily :)

Still thinking about your stance justme ...
If you had children would you tell them about Father Christmas?
Would you 'see' wild horses and dolphins dance in the foamy waves?
Would you see the man on the moon smiling down and sprinking stars of sweet dreams?
Would a fairy take your childs tooth and replace it with a shiny sixpence?

I think all of those are examples of what I'd consider play, and amusement to help expand a child's mind. I've worked a lot with children, and engaging their imaginations is quite a part of that :)

I think adults are just big kids!!!

I know they are. It's been proven scientifically ;-)

Aha!!

Not quite, Orangetas :)

Oh yes!

Our logic differs, so I'll let you cheer for yourself :)

Three cheers for Tas ! ......hip hip...........

Hurray!!!!!

This made me laugh :)) Congratulations, Orangetas :))

: )

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Just beautiful !thank you for sharing!

I took a class in college called Situational Ethics. The basic tenet behind situational ethics is that every decisions should be based upon love, and as long as love is your intention, the end justifies the means. The event you described in your story seems to me to be a perfect example.

Oooooh

I LOOOOOVE women and you say

The end justifies the means!!!!!!

This revelation gives me all kinds of new licence.

This smile is is because I am only beginning to to sense the.................

Oh lordy...

This smile is because I am only beginning to to sense the.................possibilities

Hmmm .. :(

Hello miss Tas.

heheheeeee

Love and healing

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I agree, tas.

I agree, what a kind, considerate and inoccent lie.

Yes, I think that white lie will enable him to cope much better with his mothers death