An Example Of A Little Kindness That Happened To Me Yesterday.

I spent a couple hours yesterday in a state that I can only describe as pure rage.  I won't get into the details of it, but suffice it to say that I wanted to hurt someone, anyone.  Don't get the wrong idea, I haven't hit anyone since I was a kid - but I WANTED to hurt someone, break a wall, smash something - it's the kind of anger that I never used to let myself feel.  Instead, I took a walk.

I tore a few leaves off of bushes, punched a few things that I knew wouldn't break - expressed my anger in the least destructive ways I could think of... after a couple hours of this, I leaned against a signpost and just... hung there.  I felt completely drained - no energy, no drive, no hope.  "the world is rotten - everyone is tainted by evil people, everyone justifies evil.  Evil wins."  I knew I was being overly pessimistic, and that it was just the misery talking... but I didn't care.

A car drove by, and instead of driving past, it stopped.  A woman inside asked me "are you okay."  I didn't move for a while.  The seconds ticked on, until finally I forced my head upward, and with a shaky voice said "no."  A few more seconds passed - I could tell she had no idea what to say.  Finally, she said "I'm sorry - is there anything I can do?"  My slumped form showed no visible response, but inside I was taken aback.  I said with sincerity "there's nothing you can do - but I really appreciate you noticing."  She told me she would pray for me, and then drove off.

I walked the rest of the way home with an almost normal amount of energy and vigor - and in my head I said "there's still decency in this world."

MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
3 Responses Apr 18, 2010

Wow. It is amazing to know that for every negative there is a positive. I appreciate you sharing this experience bcause it is a reminder that we are all susceptible to negative thoughts, but I believe most people are good.

Thank you LIttlepurrr... your name and avatar both scream "cute."<br />
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angel - yes :)<br />
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Mello - It does seem like some serendipitous coincidences have been happening lately. I'm feeling... honestly, I'm feeling a steady feeling of terror - my muscles are constricted, my breaching is labored.

I love your story:)