It's Simply Unreasonable

I'm the father of a fifteen year old daughter going into her sophmore year. I admit openly to her, myself and the world, that she could go out and have sex anytime she wants and there isn't a damn thing I could do about it. As much as I might fantasize about it, locking her in a tower until she is thirty would not be healthy for her. That being said, it seems obvious to me that the only thing that can be done is to empower her and give her all the information and advice she needs to make a good decision. Whether she decides to take my advice and wait for a guy she loves and trusts, or not, she needs to know how to protect herself from unwanted pregnancy and from disease. By all means, comment if this doesn't seem obvious. To mean it seems like pure truth. You can't control your kid's bodies, only they can. All a parent can do is give advice and guidance.

How on Earth do people expect teens to make life changing decisions with absolutely no information. I just don't get why any of the rightwing religious wackos who came up with this idea thought it would work. Fifty years ago our grandparents were having premarital sex, getting pregnant at an early age, and marrying. Now we expect our kids to go to college, then graduate school, then start a career and only then think about marriage. Does anyone honestly expect their kids to wait until they are in their thirties to have sex for the first time? I think sex should be about love and commitment and I'm all for having a limited number of partners in life, but we have a powerful biological drive to reproduce. I don't see how it is remotely reasonable to expect anyone to wait that long. There's a tremendous difference between saying don't be promiscuous and don't have sex for thirty years.

She has been telling me about all these little ska-nks that act like complete who-res since the 8th grade. (male and female, I draw no gender differences in my expectations) We live in this small largely Christian town in America where parents preach nothing but abstinence, refuse to discuss the matter further, and then just pretend their kids will be little God fearing simpletons and never question them. These are the parents that have no idea what is going on, and their kids are usually the ones going wild. Meanwhile, they accuse people like me of being poor parents because I actually talk with my girls and remember what it was like to be a teenager. Doesn't it occur to them that any human being, who is expected to make a rational decision, requires information?

Teenagers are supposed to question authority and are particularly gifted at identifying bullshit. "Don't have sex, it's bad, the bible says so!!!" How is that an argument or advice in any fashion? "Ignore your body's natural hormonal conditioning and impulses, because the invisible man in the sky, who made you this way, says it's bad." These are the people who's kids end up making poor decisions with their bodies and being traumatized for life. I feel sorry for the kids, if you can't turn to your parents for guidance, who can you turn to?