I question myself of why I use EP. To get my emotions out? To help other people? To just get the words out of my head that I have to say? I guess all three of those things are correct.

I've been hurting today. Emotionally. You see, I have a really close friend and I care so much for her. She's my best friend. She's the person I go to everything about. She's my rock. I don't think anyone can make you hurt emotionally. I think that you do it to yourself. You believe it. You're the one who chooses to act on it, so you're the one who hurts yourself in the end. Sometimes I get an idea in my head that I'm nothing to people. That I can easily be replaced and forgotten. I think those things because I am weak. I am someone who's went through hell and is expected to be strong, but in reality I'm the weakest of us all. I don't mean to bag on myself. I just feel that way at times. I feel lost. Then when I talk to my best friend she makes me feel like I am something. Like, I have a purpose. I don't think a lot of people can do that to a person. A very select few. Sometimes my best friend is lost. I can see it. She misses deeply but not a lot. It takes so much for her to miss someone and then when she does miss someone it's different. Like, she just can't take it. She has this other friend. I used to be really close with her other friend too, but she treated me badly. She lied. She did things that I couldn't take. I had to let her go. She didn't make me happy.

Her other friend has made her feel worse. They've been friends for awhile. 7 years almost. I don't understand why my best friend keeps going back to her. Keeps missing her, when all her friend does is ignore her until she needs something. It aggravates me and I don't understand it. I guess what I'm asking for advice. I've talked to her before about it, but she gets upset. She realizes it. And I have forgiven her friend. I am a forgiving person.. I just don't want her friend as close to me as she was before.. I just need advice. Any kind.. Someone will understand. So, please. Help me understand something that kills me inside.
SpecialKind SpecialKind
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

You can chat with me, I have never experienced that but I have lost friends from life just changing. So if you want to talk about it or anything else you can message me :)