I'm Scared, And Alone

I don't even know why I'm writing this, maybe it's because I can express myslef without nobody knowing, well I'm 14 years old and my parents are getting a divorce, it was the best thing to do because my dad is.. he's just mentally ill, like not literally but he is, i know it. He used to hit my mom and the last time he did he almost hit me, I was very scared.. he choked her and broke her lip, my mom tried defending herself and my dad was yelling all crazy and telling me that if i don't go have breakfast with him, he would kill my mom. I went and he forced me to eat, my mom called the police and they came.. my dad hid in the bathroom and the police took us with them, i was too scared.. and my mom is cuban so there's no way she can do something about it, cause my dad did some traps before.. he knew it all along, he's an abuser. He has done it before and when he took my mother out of cuba saying she was from dominican republic, he made a trap so when this happens my mom wouldn't be able to do anything cause if she does they could send her back to cuba and i would have to stay with him.. oh and i didn't mension, he cheated on my mom, and still, he doesn't admit it. and he's being all "dad&daughter forever together" with me.. and i need to pretend with him as if nothing ever happened cause we have no other choice.. i mean mom and dad are not like together anymore but we are still living with him and it's scary.. sometimes i hear yelling and things making loud noices as if they were fighting again, but it's just my mind.. it's just that it was so awful.. the way he punched her while i was there in shock just.. staring and crying without being ale to move or say anything.. i felt so useless and weak.. i feel useless and weak. He doesn't even care at all... and it hurts to realize that the man who raised me and who i thought of my hero and somebody great.. all this time he really was just a big jerk who never deserved to have a woman such as my mom, and even if he had her.. he didn't treat her well.

I remember he always said I was fat.. and i became bullimic because of that.. i mean i'm not anymore but he has hurt me in so many ways.. and his opinion was the most important to me. i mean, i have never like.. seen him being proud of me for anything and i always tried my best.. he just made me feel... not good enough in anything i did, anyways.. that's like part of it and i just needed to write it down, thanks for litsening.. well, reading haha:)
ada232 ada232
13-15, F
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Just know there are normal people out here and when you are old enough, make your escape. Just be sure not to get involved with men like your dad. Avoid them like the plague. Good luck. The government might be able to help you seek asylum. A safe place until you are legal age.

its good to write your thoughts down. im sorry for your troubles. you have seen a lot of bad things. but hopefully things will get better for you and mom now that theyre divorced. good power to you!