Maybe I watched too much tv as a kid.

But I have always had this impossible dream in my mind. Of a family that likes each other. Of a mother and a father and some kids. They laugh together, and the tough times only make them stronger. Because no matter what's going on, they care about each other.

I feel like my eyes have been opened for a few months my own home life. Then I turned my eyes to others' lives. To the people around me, and to all of the EPeeps who let me be privvy to their situations. And so, so many of us are in this same situation. And it just makes me sad. I begin to wonder if marriage is an outdated institution after all. If anyone could really be happy with anyone else after time takes its toll.

Is anything really permanent in this life?

Because if love can't last, what is there to live for after all? Everything stems from love. If not, it doesn't mean anything. What is understanding without love? What is generosity? Sacrifice? Without love, they're only a means to bitterness and resentment.

I was watching a video on youtube that a friend sent me. Different ways to pull teeth. Just a joke about the Little Bird and his new hobby.  And this one...I've watched it three times now. Just looking with longing at the family pictured here. Kids are happy, connected, tuned in to mom and dad and siblings...Mom and Dad are so easy with each other, everyone is laughing. God, how I want that. Their interaction is effortless, and the affection between them is almost tangible.


The cynic in me wonders what happens when the camera goes away. Does Dad sleep in the guest room? Is Mom having an affair? Is that older kid a bully? Maybe one of the parents has a drinking problem. Everyone has issues. That's part of life. But is it possible to be with someone - long term  - where there is mutual respect and understanding and love and compatibility?

I want to believe in something concrete. I want to see someone who has been married for a long time who can tell me that they've enjoyed the ride. Or that it gets better. Or what makes it get better. I want someone to tell me that this is worth it. Or how to make it worth it. Tell me that I'm faulty, or that my husband is. Just let me know that there is hope for something more. Not even hope for me specifically. Just hope that someone, somewhere could find happiness that will last more than a season.

onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow
31-35, F
81 Responses Jul 18, 2010

I understand some of what you are feeling. It has been necessary for me to try to blend into situations where I have felt like a round in a square world. Most of the time it is my own inner conflicts that cause me stress. For a long time I just made up my mind to change whatever I needed to change in order to fit in and be accepted by my new family. This was marginally sucessful. I then began to realize that those who did not accept me probablly never would no matter how much I changed to suit or tried to blend. Then I went through a phase of depression about that. After that I decided that since it really would not matter either way I needed to find things that I could keep my self busy doing and being that did not damage relationships but would keep me as happily during those relationships as possible. After another round of depression over all that I realized that I needed to find the people I felt the most comfortable with and spend more time with those people. Some were old family members, some new family members and old and new friends. I went back to my hobbies I had always liked. I started taking better care of my health. I continued to love and do things for the people who wanted me around and appreciated me for just who I was. I began appreciating people for themselves no matter whether they could help me fit better or not. Now I am just disappointed that I am not such a good fit in my new world but I no longer am devistated about that reality. If my new people decide to run me off or that I am not good for them. So be it. <br />
<br />
You have decide whether where you are and who you are with is worth what you are going through to be there. Sometimes we fight and fight for something we really don't want or need just because we feel that we should be wanting to fit in and blend and keep trying. If the very things you are seeking will only still cause you torment when you get them - do you really want to fight the battle and then still be the sad loser at the end of it?<br />
<br />
I do not suggest leaving your spouse and or your children. I do suggest you take a long look at just what you are seeking. Change yourself but do it for yourself not to fit. Begin to do the things you really want to do. What are they and do you even know? I found after making the list that most of the things I really wanted to do were things that did not even involve the people I was trying to be accepted by and wanted to fit with. When I realized this fact it was liberating because it just didn't really matter anymore and I was not angry about it or even really sad. I could still be happy doing what I wanted to do with my life and stop fretting about not fitting into their world. Find your own self and then just add your family and their world to your world. I do believe it is worth it. I love my spouse and his family but I don't have to have them to continue being me.

i have never met a happy family<br />
<br />
i think its because<br />
<br />
familiarity breeds contempt

i have never met a happy family<br />
<br />
i think its because<br />
<br />
familiarity breeds contempt

We all love the TV programmes with a happy family and happily ever after message-it gives us all hope and something to aspire to but real life is different.<br />
I believe there are many happy families around but TV packages life into convenient little half hour or hourly episodes and we are lead to believe that life is like this.That there will always be a conclusion to the problem and it will all end with a hug and a laugh.<br />
In real life you need far more patience,determination to make things work.The answers to problems can take months to solve and you have to be steadfast and committed and stay with the discomfort sometimes.Good relationships are worth working at and waiting for.Good relationships are not about perfection but loving each other enough to stick at it and try to work things out.Happy families are about people who care about each other,its quite simple.<br />
Life these days is far more ba<x>sed on instant gratification than ever before.Whatever we desire we are lead to believe we can have it right now, and that this will change things and then we will be happy.Most advertising tries to convince us of this.The fact is that this isnt how life is.Fulfilling our every desire is not the way to happiness.It is much deeper than this and needs to be worked at on a daily basis. <br />
You ask the question is anything permanent in this life.I believe the answer to this is no.Nothing is permanent.Everything is in a state of change all the time,but that does not mean that a good marriage is not possible.A good marriage has to constantly change and evolve as we change,society changes,the world changes.<br />
So never expect marriage to be an easy ride.Nothing that is really valuable is easy.

No matter the problems or struggles you two may encounter, you can face the challenges over and over again because you know that those joyous moments are worth fighting for.

since no one is perfect you can't expect a perfect marriage or family. Some days are compromises and wanting to scream out loud in frustrations. But i do know happily married couples who have taken every day good and bad and been thankful for it. Just remember if you don't have bad days you can't truly appreciate the good ones

If you haven't already, do consider couples counseling. Some beautiful relationships have been born from damaged ones. And before you give up on the promises you made each other consider if there might be hope if you try something new, maybe something new with help. I wish you the best future.

what you see....<br />
the good times, the laughter, support and love....are real<br />
the not so good times, the sadness, the distance, lack of support...are real<br />
<br />
It's called REAL LIFE...nothing is perfect.<br />
For all the positive things that ever happen..somewhere there is a trade off...REAL LIFE.

I shared the same dream with you for a while, till I got divorced three years ago. I was married for 10 some years. I think, what I realsised, especially the last couple of years being single and dating, is that not many people share the same dream nowadays. Being married, and having or living for your kids and spouse seems to be a dream of the past. The new dream seems to be: independance, higher education, better job and a trip to europe! Beats me! ...however, I am sure its still out there... Loved your storry. Keep fighting for it...its worth it!

Well...I'm no longer with my husband..<br />
<br />
Relationship has been finished for a long time, but the move happened at the beginning of this year. I guess in the long run, it doesn't matter if it can happen, for didn't. <br />
<br />
Not many people share the same dream, but I hope that I can find someone that does. If I don't, then, for me, it's better to be alone...: )

I was very fortunate to grow up in a very happy and loving and supportive family. Mom and dad loved each other and all us kids knew that we were very much loved and wanted. Sure life was not always perfect and we did have our problems from time to time but we always stuck together and worked things out.<br />
<br />
All us kids grew up secure in knowing that mom and dad loved each other and they were always faithful to each other. There were many marriages in the extended family too that were as good and loving as mine were. I had grandparents who were happily married for over 50 years. And I even had an aunt and uncle who were married for almost 70 years. All the couples were as much in love with each other the day they died as they were the day they married. So I do know that happy families are possible. It takes work but I really think that work is worth it.

In order to make a great family, there has to be understanding, obstacles have to be overcome, there has to be trust and honesty. I use to look at my parents growing up, and thought to myself, " I want to be like them". My parents were far from perfect. They were the ones who argued the whole ride home, didn't talk to each other for days, had physical altercations. But what I saw as a child was how they always tried to work it out. And I wanted that. That stuck with me until I found the one who I believed to be my soul mate. We've been together for 10yrs. And believe me, we've had our share of ups and downs. And I've never lied to anyone about what really goes on. I want people to know that. No one is perfect. But its up to you & your partner to put forth the effort. If they can't hack it, don't feel like things have failed. Just move on. A lot of people don't know what it takes tohave that strong bond. Your relationship or family might not be a fairytale. But if your happy, that's all that matters.

In order to make a great family, there has to be understanding, obstacles have to be overcome, there has to be trust and honesty. I use to look at my parents growing up, and thought to myself, " I want to be like them". My parents were far from perfect. They were the ones who argued the whole ride home, didn't talk to each other for days, had physical altercations. But what I saw as a child was how they always tried to work it out. And I wanted that. That stuck with me until I found the one who I believed to be my soul mate. We've been together for 10yrs. And believe me, we've had our share of ups and downs. And I've never lied to anyone about what really goes on. I want people to know that. No one is perfect. But its up to you & your partner to put forth the effort. If they can't hack it, don't feel like things have failed. Just move on. A lot of people don't know what it takes tohave that strong bond. Your relationship or family might not be a fairytale. But if your happy, that's all that matters.

Yes it is possible but understand it requires several very specific factors in order to happen:<br />
<br />
1. By pure coincidence you just find the person with whom you have a totally natural and effortless connection you like the same things have long productive conversations amazing sex life and are best friends.<br />
<br />
2. Since 1 is extremely unlikely to happen, you need to:<br />
<br />
- Tell people apart quickly... and am not talking about appearances. Every person has encoded in their body language their entire personality, learn how to read this.<br />
<br />
- Get to know the "selected" people a bit more deeply... not about the weather but who they really are. You only really know someone when you understand their dark side.<br />
<br />
- You are not one person, you are a different person with each person you meet. So keep in mind the right person will have such an effect in you that you'll feel happy and you'll be a completely different person than you usually are, in a good sense. You'll be a super-you better in every way.<br />
<br />
- Depending on how easy it is for you to be happy with someone, you should start meeting a lot of people. And I mean really a lot... hundreds! After you learn how to distinguish the good from the bad of course. Because it is really a question of numbers... you have to keep meeting people until you find the right one.<br />
<br />
3. Accept defeat, believe that you have to compromise between the risk of being alone for the rest of your life or finding the near-perfect relationship your looking for. This is what most people do, after meeting many wrong people they just stop believing there is a right person and take the best they found to spend their life with. This is also the reason why many divorces happen because best they found is not good enough or because they find something better along the way.<br />
<br />
<br />
4. Get a mutually-convenient casual relationship until you find something better. Having a casual relation with someone who you enjoy and enjoys you even though your not right for each other can be quite relaxing as you don't have serious feelings. Of course you do need to be smart enough to see that the casual relation is really a casual relation for both and not just for one! ;-)<br />
<br />
<br />
In my years of experience I met a few thousand women I learn how to spot compatibility pretty fast and get to know the person better when I think there might be potential. I have not yet found the right person or lets rephrase... I did but they either have boyfriend or are married already... so I'm still looking for. I also did another thing which was identify the mentality which I feel that matches me more. I travelled around europe got to know people from all over the world and found particularly connected to Lithuanian women. I only met a few and they were quite amazing even though not perfect match it was pretty close so now I am planning to go live in Lithuania for some time and see what happens. ;-)<br />
<br />
So honey, if you want to be happy, you gotta do what it takes. As for me, until now I have preferred to be alone than to be in a relation where I am not happy. I love myself too much to give away my freedom like that! :-)

there is too many comment to what you have wrote and i dont know if u will get this or not but u really gave me sumthing to think about....a moment ago i was thinking to suicide and i check my facebook n it says.u r the strongest baby!.my frens believes in me..right now my mom hates me but i know she has always loved me..and also everybody have issues in their lives so do i...i was so frustrated and could hardly manage to cope with it..i gave up and again rise up...i was confused and paranoid and at the end came up with plan to end my sorrows once and for all....but i came across your story and i think i wont go from this world like a loser...i remember i wrote somewhere in my pages many years before that i am a warrior!!

I have to admit that I think it has to do with your own situation and who you are. Sometimes the old nuclear family structure isn't the way for happiness. I think it's a mistake to define happiness in old cultural constructions. But I also think it's a mistake to be sad about it. Our society is moving in a different direction and there is a reason we are learning to adapt this way socially. It doesn't mean that there is any less love in the world: it just means that the love comes from different place, in different relationships (both real and fictive kin), and that we should accept who we are and where we came from. <br />
<br />
An example: My mother and father are very happily married. They have had their ups and downs (especially when I was a kid we had financial problems), but they have gotten through it and my brother and I have a good relationship with them. My brother and I are also incredibly different people and do not understand each other one bit. We will never have a very good relationship. <br />
<br />
Myself, I will probably not get married or have kids. (If I do fine, but I don't see it happening). I could fall in love with a man or another woman. I could be in love with two people. If I don't have a child by 35, I will adopt. They will not be part of the normal family structure. We will also have our ups and downs...<br />
<br />
We shouldn't be upset because things aren't always what they seem. We should take the mistakes our own families made and try to correct them with our relationships with those we love. However, we can't expect to be perfect or follow any sort of cultural construction to the T. It's all part of being human.

I wanna hear that kind of story too. That even problems, situations and issues come, they still manage to resolve it, that love and good things above all is important.<br />
<br />
I just learned when I watched tv this morning from a celebrity couple, that the formula for keeping the love alive is 3P. Prayer. Patience. Partnership.

Ya when I grew up I wanted to be just like Donna Reed reruns. Is it ever too late?

Serious thoughts, concepts and possibilties.

My Grandfather and Grandmother had a happy life together. They operated a restaurant and a rockshop and lived life. They enjoyed each others company until they passed away.

My parents constantly yell. They're so loud I can hear them in my room when they're in the ba<x>sement. My relationship with my younger sister has been pretty rocky for the past few years. However, I would not hesitate to say that my family is the happiest family I know.<br />
After arguing, my parents never hesitate to say "I'm so sorry. I love you." "I'm sorry too, I love you so much." They've been together for 20 years and when I ask why they fight, they say it's because they care enough about what the other person thinks that they argue. They're both pretty hot-tempered, so it usually leads to raised voices.<br />
My sister and I are 5 years apart, so it's hard empathize with her sometimes, but I'm always trying. And she knows that. She tries to meet me halfway. And doesn't that count for something?

It also caught me what you said about love. love between friends, isn't that a powerful thing? That kind of love is the kind that can last a life time. People always say the best thing is when you're in love with your best friend because it's a kind of love that becomes a part of you. It lives with you in a way that love when you meet someone and date before you're friends does.

Thank you for all of the comments...<br />
<br />
I know about loving friends. I have some incredibly beautiful souls in my life that I have loved for many years..I wouldn't trade anything for them. I was specifically looking for something that <br />
Aquarius mentions. That there are tears along the way, but it doesn't always *end* in tears. <br />
<br />
Just something to keep hope alive in myself for a better tomorrow. : )

Hello,<br />
<br />
I like you appraoch of seeking true love.<br />
<br />
I believe that my whole life happiness and attachment strated afetr marriage, my husband is someone who can understand & care without i could even say. I am totally in love with him & I feel that i am lucky to be his & he is mine.<br />
<br />
I think that if two people really decide to marry then they should strive to keep their relationship as the best cause this is the only heaven on earth

this is a delightfull video and so nice to see mom and dad with their children haveing fun.<br />
There are alot of happy couples in the world today but it doesn't just happen, it's not like the luck of the draw. Both adults have to do their part and work at it and quite frankly it's the best gift one can give to their children also a good example for them to follow.

I like the idea that the biggset gift to be gievn to my kids are my good realtion with their daddy ^__^

I too had a dream of a better family life. When he and I were both from a disfuntional family. With the after effects of that, it would be amazing if anything when right. Now that we are empty nesters, I found that love it not from people, (you may not like this part) it's from God because he is love. We even divorce for a short time and when we got back together had to find where the love comes from or it wouldn't have worked then either. But we did find it, not in a church, not from friendly advice, but from God, himself. I acturally learned how to talk to God, praying is mostly just a form that everyone follows, but talking to God and having Him show you where the answer is very personal. I found love for God and myself. Then I found I can include others and it wouldn't take away any of it. <br />
Try it hopefully you'll find what I did.

People always joke around saying stuff like, "Hahaha, don't get married! Stay single!" especially men. When I was a kid, I never understood that, because I thought marriage was the highest goal in a romantic relationship. It seemed so contradictory, and I never understood it.<br />
<br />
The past few months I've really been thinking that I want to get married someday, have children, be a great husband and an even greater father. I can relate to your story, and I hope someday you're part of a happy family. :)

i really believe in family i still have both mother and father and i think its wounderful infact if i were in a close comunity i woould love to be responsible for alot of children because i love being around children teaching them right from wrong and also i have noticed with my own children you get more of a response if you jive more love than punishment and i just love learning from children i also love to encourage them every day by watching them and seeing things that they do every day i would tell them how smart they are how kind they are caring loving and creative and beautiful because its true and if its said enough they will believe this and this is what they will become ive seen it many times and of course i would love to have a father in their lives.

I know that in our society, many people don't take marriage as seriously as they should. The second things get hard they give up and get out. But, I don't think that's how it should be. To have a good marriage and a good family takes a lot, a lot, a lot of work. And to make your marriage work you must be fully dedicated to making it work. I know quite a few people who have actually been married for 30+ years and are still married. However, I'm sure in the past they have went through many hard times with their marriage and their family. But, they worked through it, they leaned on each other, and they leaned on God and that is the only reason that they are still going strong today. So, the reality is that no family or marriage is perfect but people can successfully be married to each other until the day they die.

Love is a crazy thing,but true love never gives up. There's been times i thought i would, but we have pulled thru it. There's been times i would like to ring her neck,and i no it gos both ways. Have you ever had a friend you got mad at for just a week,and then you forgave them and moved on being friends like nothing ever happen. Well the same thing happens when your in love. Love in a marriage means you have found your very best friend. Even in bad time she on one end of the house you on the other not talking to each other dose not mean the marriage is over. I love my wife and i would like to allways think it is for ever. I know couples who have been together for 30, 40, 50,years and you can still see them glow with love. Yes there is lovers out there that stay together tell death has parted them. I don't think i want my marriage to have been effortless, if there were sacrifices made they were worth it. Just like colormevibrant said hope and forgiveness gets us a long way. Yes love can be long term. God bless you.

It can happen if you let go of the idea of perfection. You can't make things perfect every minute. People can ruin their happy lives by being too concerned with what's perfect as much as by ruining the happy with their flaws. It's all a balance. Love is always there, sometimes it's just harder to feel or to find.

I read this and had a very deep connection to what you are saying. My mother and father kicked me on the streets when I was 18. I had no money, no where to go, and no way to go back to college. I struggled and moved into my boyfriends family house. I know it sounds weird, but they invited me in. I have been watching the way they interact and it just amazes me. They joke around everyday, rarely have fights (and if it is it is with the 14 year old boy of the house). They do things together, they are just so connected. The whole family is! I have talked to them countless times about how they are so bonded and they just laugh and shrug. I believe there is hope out there. Besides, the situations that we have to live through are to help us learn. Don't grow up and be like those who hated or knew they did wrong. Learn from their mistakes and make a better life for you and your family. I know I am going to. I am completely in love with my boyfriend and I know he is about to propose. We have been through thick and thin and we have never left each other's side once. I had to sit with him in the hospital for 10 hours after someone had tried to kill him. We have lived in close quarters together for our whole relationship and still get along perfectly. We have our disagreements, but who doesn't. Just change your situation for the better <3

. . . and how do you know this family is not blended?? What say i bet they are. . . . .

i guess i was one of the lucky one's ...i had it all ..a loving husband ...two great kids ..<br />
and a career foward ...into my new life sweet husband is heaven son is overseas ..and 13 yr old is killing me slowly ...we did have it all at one time ...but nothing good can last ..because without change we don't live ... we just stand still.....hugs and prayers

I just wanted to tell you that happy families do exist. And so do happy marriages. My parents have been together almost 40 years, and they were the most amazing parents in the world. <br />
<br />
They went to hell and back with me when I was dealing with my BPD. But they were right there with me every step of the way. I can't imagine having better parents.<br />
<br />
So...yes, good relationships do exist. And they can last.

I've been married for 43 years and have a son, age 26, and a daughter, age 21, who would be good in your cast for a family unit.

As you can see, I'm pretty young to have an opinion on this, but your story got me thinking. I come from a broken family and I vowed that one day, I would have a stable, loving environment to go home to. I think it's silly to expect happiness 24/7. People are fickle, unexpected things happen, hard times come about, but in between those moments, there is (or there should be) love. There should be a bond that is strong enough to withstand those moments, and a willingness to compromise or step into another's shoes, and I think that is a very realistic thing to achieve. Every family will have their quarrels and their bad moments, but that doesn't mean that overall they are dysfunctional. One of my favorite quotes is, "Without darkness, we'd never see the stars." I remind myself of that every day. <br />
<br />
Your writing is beautiful. Stay positive and work for what makes you happy.

You sound loving and selfless just hoping and praying for an answer to lifes unanswerable question. If you find the answer, please let me know.

i think i have problem with my family.i love my dad, mom and sister so much that i think i would die if i lose them. However, except for my sister, i talk very little with my father and can't keep conversation with my mom more than 10 minutes on the phone.Now i live far away from my home and only come back to home 2 or 3 time a year. Recently, I have read a story and at the end, it asked me: How many springs can you meet your parents? it made me think a lot, maybe it's only 10 or fewer. So is there the number i can meet them. i was really scared. The most important i think i haven't done is i have never said " i love you" to my parents. Why am i not a kid? it would be more easier to say so.

i would love a family. love, life, laughter and happiness with someone too share with. too bad, it didn't happens to me. i am a single mom with one child. that makes a family.

Hi. I am not married yet, so I cant tell you what you have asked. However I can tell you what my mum has told me about her marriage. She was not happy in the beginning years of her marriage, I suppose everyone is 'shocked' to see the other side of their partner, that they are not as perfect as we think. There is always things that irritate you from his habits, and my mum said "You will get used to it until you feel numb". <br />
I know what kind of family you have in mind, and I dream of that too. However there are things that we expect that are not realistic, I guess. I dont mean love is unrealistic. but just the way people express love most of the time is not what we expect. <br />
Eventhough my dad irritates my mum a lot, but I know he does things to help her, and care for her when she is sick. I know it is not perfect but I guess it shows more than anyone who might not even care.

I worked in an assited living building for the elderly. I have seen true love last for years and years, even if I only got to witness it at the end of their lives. I've seen couples who once one dies the other was never the same, and some who died shortly afterwards. I've seen couples who fought and fought and fought, but never went to bed angry and even in those silly old folk arguments, you can feel the love between them. I even witnessed one woman who lost her husband to cancer, and a year later she was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal pancreatic cancer. Dr's said she had 3 weeks to live. What was the first thing she said to me the first time I saw her? With a huge smile on her face she said full of glee I get to go home and be with my husband again! I am so excited! She died 2 weeks later, never once wavering in her joy to be with him again. <br />
<br />
True love exists, soulmates exist. And once you find yours, and not settle for anything less, you will have what your looking for.

I think its a valid question, with all the divorce today. But I think Aw all still dream and hope. I went to a wedding today of a young couple they are so on top of the world! Full of hope and blue skies! Just like I was and of course the dark clouds come and go. We take the good with the bad. Hope for the best.

Every realsionship/marrage have problems sometimes, it is just sometimes it does solved/worked out and sometime not.

My granparents always worked trough problems. You could see how much they loved each other and also how much they loved their family. They did every thing they could to help and be there for us.

It was normal that they got out of the bed about the same time.
Grandma did go make tea and made break fast, while grandfather did make a small lunch box and tea termo can and also check if everything was ready before he would go out with his boat.
When grandmother was done making breakfast, they sat down together. They talked about random stuff while eating. Afterwards my grandmother would go after his jacket gave him the jacket while he was getting in his rain boots. They would tell each other how much they loved each other and kissed and then he would go to work. She didn't work, but she would go out of the in morning so they could spend a bit of time together before he did go to work. They loved to spend evertime they could together.
When problems were they just sorted it out.

There were other things that showed how much they loved each other, so you could maybe get thefeeling what I meant. Small details like that and and big ones made everybody feel that it was true love between them.

If you had meet them, I am sure you would see how much in love they were even after being married in 60 years.
Most people said how special to see people that had been so long married for so long to still love each other so much.

You can't say that my parents were like that. They were more the oposite from my grandparents...

No body can be in realasionship without problem days, but diffrence is that some always find a way to work it out and some don't.

Farytail romance or anything like that doesn't exist. There will never be a realsionship with just wonderful days.

Some people fit together, better then others do.

Everybody has ups and downs, that is one of the reasons a priest sayes '...trough good times and bad times....' when people get married in a church..

I am not sure what problems or the situation you have, so I can't say if it something fixable or not...
But try your best if you love him.
Hope it will get better.
You are welcome to write to me if you want or need to talk with someone.

P.s. My gradparent did everything to help everybody in need.
Don't give up in beliveing love is in this world.

Marriage should be a 5 year contract with options. If both parties get bored or the sex is bad ...opt out and find a new partner.