Help Me Decipher Codes-part 1

Five long years ago, i knew a girl ill name her 'j' who claimed to be my best friend and that i meant the world to her.She set me against my friend 'a' and caused a lot of misunderstandings.( 'j' did  not like me because her mom thought that i was better than her in every way.).i grew tired of all the drama, made a mistake in all that frustration and lost my friend 'a'.

i contacted her last month through facebook and apologized and said we could start fresh.she said that she thought my mistake was stupid and she understood the circumstances and everything that i was being put through. she said she was waiting for this day. 

waiting for what???for me to apologize. if she knew the stupidity of my mistake and understood me that well why dint she try to talk to me all these years.ego??????? (not upset just curious)

 miss 'a' texted me that read - u made a stupid mistake of loosing me as ur best friend. we are friends again becuz of me. i have the heart to forgive and forget. Now did she really forgive me ?????? do u smell the narcissistic stench off her text too??????? 

shalomme shalomme
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 7, 2011

Could you contact her by phone? I have found that messages sent online and by text are sometimes misunderstood. The two messages look to contradict each other, but if I were you I would contact her to find out for sure what she means. I hope you are able to regain your friendship. Your willingness to contact her with an apology says to me that you are a good friend to have.

I am an ex narcissist and that does rings an alarm for me.<br />
If she's one then it'll be very long to explain but if you want to help your friend you can start by reading up and trying to understand what's going on inside her head.<br />
<br />
Try this :<br />
There are few important things you'll always need to remember : <br />
1. narcissists, while we always see them as abusers, are actually the victims, they just don't know how to deal with their problems but the reasons they became narcissists is because they were victims<br />
2. if they can't see what's wrong with them then they can't be help, period.<br />
3. but you maybe able to gradually make them open up, little by little, with extreme caution<br />
4. because you can't tackle them head on, they'll use their defensive mode, and you can't please them either because they'll never get better, you need to stand in the middle ground and keep trying to reach their inner selves.

thank you for your is really helpful