Never Forgives Someone Easily Again

2 years ago, this despicable low life woman came back to my life and finds me again after an absence of many months. She begged me and pleaded me for forgiveness over the phone for all of her despicable lies that deceives me. She sounds utterly remorse and she was in a pitiful state when she claims that her life was full of problems with her new guy and she claims that she misses me eversince both of us went our seperate ways few months back. My heart melts hearing her remorse. I forgives her in the hope that she changes her evil lying ways. But sadly the reason she finds me again was to make use of me again and that is MONEY!!! She deceives me again after i have forgive her. One of my biggest regret eversince then was to forgives so easily an evil heartless ungrateful woman like her. She left me again a few months after that this time forever, leaving me with the burden of a heavy debt and a massive deppression hits me till now. My heart still hurts and  i know that the wound in my heart will never be healed properly for the rest of my life. She ceases all contacts from me after I had exposed her lies and her deceptions towards me. Her life is full of happiness now eversince the day she stopped contacting me, but my life is one hell of a misery eversince then. She has a black and filthy heart towards me and Till now she did not feel any sense of guilt and genuine remorse for the past evil that she did to me. She has already forgotten about me and its has been 2 years now since she last called me and I damn sure know that she will never calls and find me again. I feel very very stupid forgiving a despicable woman like her. And i have vowed never ever to forgives her again for the rest of her pathetic despicable life. I am sorry if people says that I am selfish and petty by not forgivin her, but then again a despicable low life gal like her dont deserves my forgiveness for the dastardly acts that she did to me in the past. But then again my friends, she will never seeks my forgiveness again for the rest of her life because in her selfish shallow view of life, she will feel that she has never did any wrong towards me.

yazed yazed
31-35, M
1 Response Jul 24, 2010

I think it's the one who can forgive no matter what, who has learned and therefore earned. Expecting people to "earn" something because you want them to, whatever the reason, gives you a power you do not earn.