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Shoulda-woulda


Yesterday marked the end of a 30-day challenge my yoga studio had. There was a celebration for the challengers, those that were able to complete the task, and those that have tried. It was a cold, overcast day yet we had barbecue and others brought in different kinds of party cocktail picks. No liquor; instead, we have this juice drink that someone concocted and swore that it did not contain any alcohol... and it was yummy!

I listened to the chatters and banters about the challenge. While it started out as stressful for some, which totally defeats the purpose of yoga, they are likewise thankful that they did it. The stress lessened as they continued to come everyday for the practice. In the end, they truly appreciated what yoga means to each of our lives.

Faerie isn't a challenger. Because of my illness and procedure that was scheduled during the event, I decided not to join... thinking I would probably miss a lot of classes, and considering my work schedule that limits my going... I thought I wouldn't be able to complete it. I told myself I would go when I can because I did not really need to challenge myself even more with what I was going through. I may have also been only convincing myself.

At the end of the challenge, I can't help but say to myself all the shoulda and woulda. I felt envious of their accomplishment. Deep inside, I so wanted to join. But because of limitations, I languished to: I shouldn't; I wouldn't.

When the owner looked over the attendees, I was able to complete 31 classes. Even with the missed time, there have been instances I have done two classes in a single day. Without seeing my record, since there was a chart for the challengers' completed sessions, faerie was able to finish it off, with an extra day even. None of the challengers went over.

They made me an honorary challenger because of it. As we were winding down the evening, I checked in with the green-eyed monster. He was quiet. The shoulda and the woulda simply faded away with the laughs and teases going around. Was it because I was able to complete 31 sessions? Not a hoot or blink from the green eyes. And I smiled... because in truth, at the end of my own challenge, I am simply happy I am able to celebrate with them. This time around, I did not allow any shoulda-woulda monster to limit myself to feel the moment and take it for what it is... a happy memory.

 
Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 30, 2012

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Yeah... but truth be told, I was feeling something wrong since Saturday. Faerie blames it on her doctor for lessening her dosage of Vit B12.

Congratulations to you! See, you really didn't have those limitations you were afraid of!