And I Am Tired of It

The theme to my life has always been that I am not good enough.  After 41 years on the planet, I am done with this line of thinking....not that's easy to let it go...I have a deeply ingrained habit of seeing myself as less than those around me, unworthy of respect and just plain not good enough....

I'm taking small steps...first identifying the main culprits in my life I fear that I am disappointing the most.  Interestingly enough, it's not the people I respect and care about the most.  The two main people at this point are my ex-husband and my mother.  Not two people whose opinions I value, but they can still cut me to the quick with hardly any effort.  So, I'm starting with them, then moving outward to claim my rightful place in this world as a human being worthy of respect, able to make mistakes and grow without fear of reprisal and damn good enough!

Thanks for listening...SS

SerenitySeeker SerenitySeeker
41-45, F
8 Responses Feb 26, 2009

SS, I feel we're all here to acomplish something but things get in the way. Other people's insecurities tend to hurt us. They're miserable and they want to bring us down by telling you how worthless you are. <br />
Like your ex and mother, my ex and my father are both miserable people who are not where they want to be in life and not happy. They could be if they tried. I am so happy I am free from that all and can work on my new life.<br />
You are never too old to work on it, ss.<br />
Good luck.

This is so motivating. It's so remarkable how you seem to have summed all of the issues I have with myself, and even further, my mother's involvement with me feeling that way. <br />
<br />
I'm going to take your advice and follow your example. <br />
Thanks for sharing, you've really given me encouragement.

DD...so sweet....I'm just happy I offered an opportunity....what you do with it is all you....<br />
<br />
TAC - your comments were much appreciated....I hate to hear of anyone feeling misery...but to achieve understanding and begin to heal is a beautiful thing...and I see that in your comments....peace...SS

Thank you SerenitySeeker for giving us the opertumty to vent on your thread. Maybe you should be a <br />
psychiatrist. I know you could help me...DD

Bless you treeandcrow. Bless you. I did not understand why my own mother was so very distant until years later. I now under stand but am unable to feel anything. Perhaps I am lucky. I just don’t think about her. <br />
<br />
I suspet that your own mother had reasons but I am sure her reasons have NOTHING to do with you…DD

You are not a disappointment to everyone, because you don't know everyone.<br />
<br />
You have had some poor experiences but are benefiting from them by expressing yourself.<br />
<br />
I don't think your a disappointment at all.<br />
<br />
I applaud you for being candid and open.<br />
<br />
Keep writing. Your experiences may help others.

Way to go girl......more power to you !

Any time SS...any time at all...DD