My Soulmate

I was in the infant department of a primary school, and felt  drawn to a particular boy who looked somewhat different from others.  Each time his name was called by the teacher, my attention would suddenly shift to see who the person was and there he would be.

When I say he looked different, I mean he looked different....  darker, slimmer, even his eyes were an odd colour to me.  No one else seemed to understand what I saw when I looked at him, so I began teasing him.  I did not realize since I was only 5 years old at the time, that my teasing him made me appear to be a not so nice child.

One day a really good friend asked me - why are you calling him that?  I could not explain myself so I simply stopped teasing him.  His face never left my mind.  He disappeared from my class and once more his name was called on the roll and I looked around at the same time the teacher said -oh, he gone over, let me take him off the roll.  I was too young to understand what that meant so I continued to look for him in every unusual face I saw as I grew up.

As I got older, I wanted to link up with him to apologize for what was deemed as my cruel actions as an infant.  I never saw him again.  His face haunted my memory.

I began dating in my teenage years and fell madly in love with a somewhat unusual person.  Things did not work out so I moved on.  I got married due to heavy blows dealt by fate, and was very unhappy.  I wanted out of this loveless marriage but could not move.  I could not get over that one first true sweet love.  I called him the LOVE OF MY LIFE.  One day as fate would have it I linked up with my childhood sweetheart. 

We carried on a short affair but it was best for us not to be together.  He got married and I believe he is happy to this day, however I cannot get him out of my mind.   He  remained the LOVE OF MY LIFE.

 One day I was joking around with his son and something about his action and appearance reminded me of the unusual guy I knew in the infant department.  I then said to his son " if I didn't know better I would have thought you were him (Nickname called)  I mean you could pass for his son.

My mouth fell open  the instant I said those words as it suddenly dawned on me that. that was in fact his son.  I believed I had met, dated and fell in love with the very person I had met in the infant department.

 The same person I had searched for was there all the time.  I realize now why he(as and infant) had haunted my memory.  I realize why I see him (the teenager) as the LOVE OF MY LIFE.  I realize too, why his son is so special to me, but that's a story only I can understand ...............

I guess that no matter what happens, or where life takes us , he will always be there to haunt my memory.  I see his face every day ...............but I can't tell where or why .............

sparkleaustin sparkleaustin
41-45, F
Feb 8, 2010