A Good Guy In a Sea of Pimps......

Ah yes, that's me.  I'm old fashioned.

I've had a handful of girlfriends, a lot less than most guys my age (read three), and all of them were with the intent of seeing if she's marriage material.  Sadly, this is now how the dating scene works these days.....

How Most do it - The guy comes on as the "masta' pimp" and impresses the woman with all his connections and his glowing sense of humor cobbled together from Dave Chapplle specials.  They dance for a handful of nights to R&B in some expensive dance clubs (or similar) before going home to do the mattress hop, and next thing you know, the guy is being begged to be married.

They get married, have a lavish wedding, go on the honeymoon, have a kid, and then after a few years, have a nasty divorce, usually for one of the following reasons, or more actually....
- Someone cheated/had an affair
- Someone is broke all the time
- Someone has nasty habits they won't quit for their sweetheart
- Someone has an entitlement complex
- Someone wants more glamor in their life
- Someone is the cause for a severe lack of sex
- Someone is unexciting in bed
- Someone is a bad parent
- Someone has changed to be harmful to the family

Courting, is a way to avoid all this, because what is courting but getting to know that other person you intend to share your life with, and find out if you can actually live with them, or if you're better off looking for somebody else or casting yourself off as a hapless hermit.

Yes, every relationship has it's problems, but one must be willing to work with them, and you never really know till you have been with someone at least a year or more, and been around them extensively.  How can one expect a marriage or any long term relationship to last if one can't stand to look at the other in the morning, or is sick of them being around for whatever reason.

What lead me to this is out of all five girlfriends....this is what I learned...

- The first one taught me that many will do almost anything for someone who treats them well, including try and cheat on her "mistake" of a husband.

- The second one taught me the difference between a woman with common sense and a woman who's in a hurry for committment because her friends all did it.  Seems there is a lot of social pressure on women in their 20's to marry the first guy they think they can "deal with".  Needless to say, nasty breakup.

- The third taught me that no matter how good she is in bed, not even the best sex in the world will save your relationship.  It also taught me what I did not want in a woman, and is the reason I've been single since.

So maybe I need to stop being so picky and start getting out there again, rather than going the one night stand route.  But it seems the old fashioned way is pretty well dead in my age group.

DarkParade83 DarkParade83
26-30
1 Response Feb 22, 2009

After reading in length your thoughts, I could not agree more. There are not enough people left out there who are willing to do the old fashion "courting" I was raised where my parents did the whole courtship, and they have been together since they where 15 years old. I mean really jumping into a relationship is the worst thing that you can do. Get to know all about them Love is unconditional, but you have to make sure you can love them for all there beauty, but all there corks as well. It does not work if you are not willing to take the time and find out all about that person, and they have to be willing to do the same. Now I am old fashion myself in many ways, but do I think I am picky, no I think I deserve someone who will love all of me no matter what. All the good, all the bad. That is what marriage is all about. I thing most people look at the wedding as a commitment, yes in many respects it is, but it should not change the realationship you should COMPLEMENT each other (bring out the best). So, before I go on and on, as I could on this one, but I feel the same way. I think for you, be yourself, and never settle for less, even in your age group. It does not matter how young or old you are. How will you ever know what love is is you do not COURT!