My Perspective On Equality
Many people claim that they are all for equality. Unfortunately, that generally means that all is fine, as long as they end up on top and get what they want. I believe in true equality across the board, not selective equality.
In a relationship, I expect no more of a partner than I am willing to do myself. I actually enjoy cooking, doing dishes, laundry and even cleaning bathrooms with a partner. I also like working on outdoor projects together. When I say equal, I’m not saying that I keep a scorecard and everything must be identical. I remember digging a trench with my son, when he was younger. There was no way that he could hold the jackhammer upright, but he did a great job of clearing the rock that I broke up. We also had quality time together, discussing the variety of subjects that interest him. I prefer planning and doing projects with a loved one, rather than each having separate chores, limiting the interaction.
Even when it comes to intimacy, I prefer equality. Women know how special it feels to know one is desired. Men would get just as much positive from that feeling. I believe that it is great for both people to feel comfortable freely expressing their desires and responses. I don’t believe in either taking charge, so aggression from either side isn’t what I am seeking. A team effort has a more positive effect on a relationship. I do appreciate an assertive partner who is clear with her desires and is an active initiator and participant.
When it comes to finances, I could care less who makes more money, but I’m not into one person giving and the other taking all the time. If one of the partners is limited in regard to earning money, for whatever reason (layoff, infant children, changes in the economy, etc.) that person still needs to consider the financial stability of the relationship. Everyone needs to be conscientious when it comes to purchasing wisely and making the most of what is available rather than what that person feels he or she deserves. I can’t relate to people who choose to live beyond their means. I’m not a materialistic person, but understand that things can be done much more effectively and efficiently with the proper tools. I don’t need to have the biggest or the newest or the name brands. I’ll pay more for quality (not names), if it allows me to get more use for the money spent.
I do not believe that certain people are more deserving than others. Who are we to deny marriage to certain classes of people? People claim that they are all for freedom of religion, yet attempt to block the building of mosques, condemning the masses for the fanatical beliefs of the few. If we don’t support the moderates, aren’t we just giving fuel to fire up the fanaticals, bringing in more recruits to their numbers?
The more comfortable we are with ourselves, the more comfortable we will be with the differences in others. Self-confident people don’t push their beliefs on others or negatively judge differences in others. They actually appreciate the differences, as it broadens their perspective and allows them to grow. When people are pushing themselves on you or critical of others, they are just drawing attention to the big neon sign they wear around their neck that says: “Caution!!! Keep your distance!!! I’m insecure, have low self-esteem and am easily over-reactive.”
Equality itself can be seen as a judgmental concept, for what is equal in one person’s eyes may not be in another’s. That is where compatibility comes in. I choose to associate with those who share in my perspective of equality. I’m not saying that my perspective is better than anyone else’s; I’m just saying that this is what works for me, and, like many, I find comfort in sharing similarities with others.
Everyone has something of quality to bring to any situation. I choose to keep my eyes open to see what they have to add to the moment, not focus on obstacles. Sure, there are people that I don’t choose to associate with, but it isn’t my place to judge them and tell them to change. They are living the life they choose, and I need to respect that as much as I’d want them to respect the choices I make. The conflict comes in when we add, “as long as no one is harmed” to these statements. What one may see as harmful, another may not. I will do my best to keep people from harm, but what if they choose to do self-destructive behaviors? We can’t save everyone, so I choose to just be a good role model and be open to sharing my acquired knowledge with anyone who is interested in expanding his or her knowledge.