I am by nature a submissive. But i am also a defiant child.
I grew up being obedient which is a far cry from submissive.
Obedient is what you do out of fear of discipline.
Submission comes from a desire to please at all cost.
When you want to make someone happy and are willing to give up on decision making then you are a submissive. This does not mean that you no longer have free will. You can choose to do or not to do something. But each decision is colored by your desire to please someone else. The dominate in your life. Your Master, or what ever title of reverance they choose to be called.
SomeĀ  times as a submissive you push the limits. And when you do a training session or discipline is needed. This is not to press their will on you, but to impress upon you that a sub is not a sub without a master. And that if you wish to keep your Master and their happiness your must be obedient in all that they require.
Honestly this is hard for me. It is not that what he asks of me is so big. But the independant, defiant child in me likes to do what she wants without having to keep tabs with her owner all of the time. I am a busy Business woman. And i will admit to finding it frusterating that i need to ck in with him after each client. I know it is a little thing. But sometimes i find it the bigest challenge. One that i am working on very hard.
You see we are submissives at heart, but we are humans by nature. And years of training have made us less than moldable. We act as if we are chisled of stone. When really we are wet clay. Waiting for our masters hands to create in us their version of perfection. They see in us beautiful raw material that they wish to make into a Master piece. Something that they will display with pride to the world and proudly announce THIS IS MINE.
So i am accepting my training. Even when i find it hard. Becuase i love this man. I want his happiness and in turn know that he will give me mine. That in making him proud he will give me all that i need in this life. And that in giving him my heart and my body to own he will find in me the true shining diamond. The raw stone is there, but it has been left unrecognized and unpolished.
It is not always easy. But my words are only words. They speak from my heart, but my actions will be what speaks to his.
lunazule lunazule
41-45, F
2 Responses Jan 8, 2013

I am very happy for you. You will both have a very happy life!

Its good to see that all the things we talked about struck a cord with you and you do understand and accept them. I am glad to hear that you want to be My sub and not just a great woman and companion because it is more difficult but I hope we both realize much more rewarding. I hate to punish or correct you and sometimes that stantds in the way of me doing what I should do in a timely manner. Just never forget any and all actions by me are done in total love for you. Thank you for this reflection and let's move forward