My Family Hurt My Son

My son's birthday was yesterday and 5 family members neglected to acknowledge it. He turned 12. Only 2 family members even acknowledged his birthday. I feel so sad inside. He told me it was okay and that they would all remember his 18th birthday because that would be a "Special" birthday. We had a family division earlier this year due to my EVIL nephew who is always trying to divide all of us. I know they are all mad at me for not forgiving my nephew's behavior, but how could any of them go through my son to hurt me? My nephew is 25 years old and is unlike any person I have ever known. He purposely destroys people's belongings and is always doing such hateful things to everyone in the community, including to the family. He steals from all of us all the time and pulls pranks that hurt each of us. I tried to suggest to my sister at the beginning of the year that possibly it was my nephew was behind this new prank (which was bad!) and my sister kicked me out of her house and called the police on me to ensure I left. Oh, it got much worse from there. Certain family members felt sorry for her being the mother to this awful critter and sided with her, which is what we all have done throughout his life. We feel sorry for her position and overlook all the bad in him as much as we can. I know God would want me to forgive my nephew and all of them but I am struggling with this. See, this all began when I listened to the whole story, coming from my niece and my nephew, and knowing my nephew's character and his prior history of these type of pranks, I suggested to my sister that possibly it was a prank stemming from her son toward her daughter. I just feel like nobody listened to my niece, as always, and I spoke up and suggested it was my nephew again.

Anyway, they have all hurt my son on his 12th birthday. He's being a bigger person and telling me it is okay because this was not a "special" birthday, and that they will all remember on his 18th birthday. It just breaks my heart how he got caught in the middle of all this madness! Any advice for me? I've never felt this lost and hurt before. They were trying to hurt me through my son and I am ANGRY at them all for it!
shelby1127 shelby1127
41-45
5 Responses Nov 28, 2012

You kept thinking about your nephew's behavior and you spoiled your child's birthday. first, never let such people to take your peace of mind. Let them be themselves.. I know its not easy but what is more important for you, your child's birthday, right?. Jesus neglected all peoples criticism and taunts and enjoyed healing people.. if he taught of what that person did to me and what he said to me, he would have never been able to do what he enjoyed doing.. healing and celebrating with people.. take care of your child and raise him teaching that how he should be and learn from your nephew behavior that he should not be like that.. your son will learn from you to get angry if you get angry and keep nagging but if you forgive him and stop talking about it your son will also be the same. Talk about positive thinks..

what is your religon ? dear

I do not have a specific religion. My father was Catholic and my mother was Mormon. I believe heavily in God and so does my son. My parents could not agree on a church, so unfortunately we did not attend church but just a few times growing up.

so it doesnt stop u from wishing or celebrating brthday

I realize that. However, my son was very close to two of my sisters and then they just cut him out of their lives. We did celebrate his birthday, all three members of the family! 5 of them chose not to recognize his birthday. That's what hurts. They made him feel as if this was not a special birthday. They did not call him or send him a card showing they remembered it.

really disappointing

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wow thats mean. I no longer celebrate birthdays becaus of my religion. but honestly after my great gma had a seizure on my 14th b-day, it wasn't a big deal to me anyways

I thought it was mean to do to a child too. He's my baby, who almost died twice at birth anyway. He was a premie at 2.5 lbs. His father left us at age 1 and said if he couldn't have me he didn't want his son in his life. My son has been jipped all the way around. Not much of a family left for him on this side for him either. I just feel like I have failed him as a mother.

you can only do your part. its not your fault if the extended family suxks

Those are words I needed. Thank you. I came on here because I do not know where to turn with this. Nobody likes to watch people hurt their child. It's hard to stand by and watch. I can't even buy my son a pet to take the place of all them. He is highly allergic to every furry and feathered critter out there. We've tried them all. So now he has fish, but he can't hold them. I want so much to fill the void in his life of all these people who should be loving him. That's what tears me apart..... I can't do anything to take away the hurt they are all putting on him. And that hurts as his mother.

i know what you mean. You'd rather bear all the pain than to see it onyour child

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Thank you. I'm trying not to be mad about it, but he is a child and believes they will remember his "special" birthday at 18. They made him feel that this birthday is just not special right now. It's hard not to get mad at them for doing that to him.

happy birthday to him what the did was wrong