Forgiveness Is The Merger Of Self And Others

Be kind to yourself and you will find it natural to be kind to others.  Forgive others and you will naturally forgive yourself.  This is the essence of happiness.  It is liberating to recognize that we are connected in spirit and identity with those who hurt us and with all others who make poor choices.  Maybe that is why Eastern philosophers focus on being one with everything.  Maybe that is why Jesus said "Forgiveness covereth a multitude of sins."  He chose willingly to take the sins of humanity upon himself.  Someone else wrote, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you." 




jimmyblue jimmyblue
41-45, M
7 Responses Dec 18, 2009

Thanks sweetieoops. I'm still meditating on it myself.

Lillylou and allfordogs, I agree completely. Thanks.<br />
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Naomi, I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. That is tragic, and I can imagine why you are having trouble forgiving. Who wouldn't? If this story helps, then I am glad. But don't be hard on yourself for being slow to forgive. From your words, it appears you are handling this with great dignity. Your last line is telling of your character and very kind. I am touched by your compassion. happy holidays - Jimmy

Thank you Jimmy. We all need a little reminder every so often. I am normally of the same train of thought as you but these last few days I have been having difficulty forgiving the drunk driver responsible for our family spending Christmas this year, without my husband .<br />
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I have been letting my grief stand in the way of forgiveness.<br />
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I know that even the drunk driver would take back that day if he could

One more thing. We often have to learn the hardest lessons in life over and over. Even if we think we have forgiveness figured out, some new challenge could come along and make it more difficult than ever before. I have found in my life that forgiveness works miracles, but I also recognize that I haven't been injured in some of the serious ways that others have. I was fortunate to have good parents who cared about me and never abused me. And nobody has done serious bodily injury to my children. For those who have experienced horrific things (especially injuries to children), I still think forgiveness is the best answer, but I am really only saying this theoretically. I don't know how I would respond.

I agree Analyzer. Its hard to see people carry around emotional baggage and have no ability to help because they can't let it go. The most important lessons in life are discovered through experience and are not imposed by others. They often take a long time to learn. But I do appreciate those in my life who showed me forgiveness and taught me about it so that I had those memories to draw upon when I needed to practice forgiveness for myself. <br />
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I think one of the greatest moments in literature is in Les Miserables, when the priest gives the candlesticks back to Jean Valjean after he was caught stealing them. Valjean (who was still thinking like a thief) didn't understand at the time, but the act surely stuck in his memory until gradually it became clearer over time. Valjean repaid the act by transforming his life into one of service and forgiving even Javert. <br />
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Be patient, and I bet your children will figure it out, in part because you helped them to see.

Yes, thanks jimmy.<br />
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I had a very hard time forgiving my late father, for many years I carried around resentment. However, it was causing me almost as much pain as his original actions did. I came to realise how he was as a person, and what drove him, his demons if you like, and I was able to let go, and the weight has lifted.<br />
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Yeah, its no fun to be around someone who is full of blame. And it especially is no fun to be that person.