Stuck?

He saw the big over stuffed chair and it looked so comfortable. He scrambled to climb up into the comfort. His small legs struggling to conquer the mountain of the trim of the chair. He grunted and grumbled while climbing until finally. Whoosh!  He fell into the deep plush softness he had desired. He sat there happily for awhile and then...

"Stuck!" He cried out raising his hands to his mother, hoping she would save him from the beautiful spot he had worked so hard to get to enjoy. He found himself stuck continually for the next few weeks. A toddler, who suddenly able to get himself everywhere would soon figure out he had gotten somewhere he didn't want to stay for long. I heard him cry out "Stuck!" over and over everytime I went to visit him. And it struck me how many adults I hear crying out "Stuck!" throughout the day. As if they have forgotten they have the choice to move themselves from where they are to somewhere else.

I have known the hard place of caregiving for more than one family member at a time ...Taking care of a daughter who had sudden onset migraines and mental illness while in my spare time taking care of my other kids and helping my mother care for my step father through a long illness that included biweekly dialysis. During this time I was also in a committed passionless marriage to a man who was very decent but really didn't care to be anywhere around me. Trust me I FELT stuck. I have to say though - The saving grace was remembering I was not stuck. Every day I made a choice to stay and take care of my children and my family. And every day I read the note to myself on the refrigerator there to remind me I was free to leave at anytime.

My spirit was always free. I went on walks through the woods with my true love while I did the dishes and I painted murals while I sat in hospital waiting rooms. I reminded myself the material world is temporary and that it is always my choice to stay or go. This is the way I stayed sane as much as I could have claimed to be sane. And even when I was empty and sitting in a locked ward with others who had ceased to be able to act as if - I remembered it was temporary and that in a moment life would change and I would once again be soaring free.

My spirit even when held down and violently forced to be stuck - demands to run free and it does.
jenvice jenvice
46-50, F
1 Response Jan 19, 2013

Excellent message, Jen! Many of us certainly do feel stuck in our situations, but yes - for now it is by choice.