Ray Go Into the Light!!!!


My husband passed away august 15th 2007 he was hit by a semi truck and died instantly. I was deviated and for months all I wanted to do was died. I prayed to god to take me. I could feel my husband with me every now and then. I wanted to contact him so badly. One night after work crying and driving home I could feel him with me. As I cried and talk to him telling him how sorry I was and I loved him. How much I needed him with me and why did he step in front of that truck, did you step in front of the truck? Though my tears I finally made it home. As I sat at our kitchen table feeling him looking at me and feeling his sadness. I scream at him to leave and go into the light. Still crying a yelling at him to go be with your family I can’t stand knowing that you are so close and I cant touch you and feeling your sadness of not being able to help me is tearing me up. I told him it was time and I have to let you go. I screamed at him Go!! I cant take this any more I have to get better. I could feel a weight lift off my shoulder the house felt peaceful and could tell he had moved on. I thought to myself I hope he is happy, and I cried even harder because I knew I could never feel him near me again. About a couple of weeks later as I driving home I was crying wanting to be with ray or him with me. Now I am upset that I set him away. I want him back so at lest I can feel his present. I know that sounds selfish and I know that he is where he is suppose to be. But I need him so badly even after a year. I know i did the right thing and i know he is at peace.
curbless curbless
41-45, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2008

I am so sorry for you loss.