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I Believe Now

This is not my ussual kind of post, but since spirituality has grown deeply in my range of interests, I thought it worthy of a story.
I belong to a deeply catholic family, but never developed that inner sparkle of faith.
I have always believed in God, but He was on the back of my mind for many years.
I love my husband and children, my family is my number one priority now. And for some reason I felt the need of something bigger. I asked for signals, and it amazed me how they appeared in the form of little daily things that assured me I am never alone
Since I don't have much relation with my mother because of her psychiatric problems, the presence of virgin Mary become intriguing to me. I started visiting a sanctuary devoted to her and just talked to her in my mind. Now I know I am actually praying and I feel she is my motherly companion and support.
Just being there brings me such peace and love for my family and friends. It gives me hope.
I know I am not a religious person in the traditional sense and this story may sound absolutely surprising coming from someone like me, but I wanted to write about it anyway :-)
anonimacy anonimacy 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 28, 2012

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GOD FOR ALL PEOPLES

i think you are an angel ... close to god him self . please dont deprive me of your presence as it is for your good luck charm that i finally am an engineer . <br />
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thank you for your good luck wishes . loads of respect and care ... karan

Hi Ji.:),<br />
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it was not surprising that you of all people have written such a story. I am really glad that you have posted it. Of course I am not a first class Christian. Not at all. But I know for sure only one fact is important at the end of earthly life: Will I be able to confide me in my Lord becalmed? <br />
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The kingdom of God has started on earth because we may trust in eternal life. Jesus has described the kingdom of God in this way:<br />
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"And he said, what picture may we give of the kingdom of God, or with what story may we make it clear? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is put in the earth, is smaller than all the seeds on the earth." (Mark 4: 30, 31)<br />
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Although you are happily married and you feel deep security in your family you are distinctly aware that earthly happiness of life is not the pink of perfection of our being. In your heart and soul was a tiny seed which asked for a personal relationship with a higher power - with God. And you have attentive listened to this vital question. Mustard seeds are characterized by their germination ability for 40 years. The spirit of God has a lot of staying power. I think there is more than one way to a personal relationship with our Lord. If you can get a fulfilling access to our Lord by virgin Mary then you are headed in the right direction.<br />
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I think your postings show that you are in high need of protection and fragile. The love of human beings is a reaction to the kind behavior and being of the other person. I think human beings do not love absolutely selfless. Our Lord loves each one although we are not perfect. He has loved each of us before our parents did know that we were growing up under the heart of our moms.<br />
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Please, allow it that such thoughts appeal to your heart and your mind more and more:<br />
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CklavWg1Wo&amp;feature=related<br />
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I wish you sincerely that you pray furthermore. “When I pray I raise my soul to God thereby my soul unites with God (by Saint Francis de Sales, Bishop of Geneva, 1567 - 1622).”<br />
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I would like to encourage you to talk with God in like manner you talk with friends.<br />
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Make yourself aware of the facts that God is always there for you and you are in his presence.<br />
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Imagine God comes up to you like a dear familiar friend and then you start a conversation about all subjects which you have on yours mind. Very simple.<br />
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Tell him all news and all your worries. Praise him, thank him, moan and ask him - all the same your usually daily talking and thinking. Of course you can keep quit whenever you choked on the word or you want to enjoy the presence of God adoring. Prayer is as easy and difficult as talking.  <br />
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To my mind prayer is a possibility to throw all worries onto God - perhaps sometimes better than intake of anti anxiety meds.<br />
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Prayer helps me regardless of my relationship to God. Caused by prayer I feel a change of my state of mind. I regain my strength - I take heart from it. I can manage the situation calmer.<br />
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I wish you heartily that you will have such wholesome experiences by prayer.<br />
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(((Warm regards)))<br />
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Chris

I think people can be too quick to make assumptions about others, including pigeon-holing them because of their beliefs. Personally I think we have individual spiritual paths, that could differ from each others. Mine certainly seems deeply enriching to me. I wish you well on your search my friend.