Who'd Have Funked It, My Karma Finally Ran Over The Dogma *bump Bump*When you think about it, if you accept nothing but crap into your life that's all you'll get back for the most part. I mean, take this place - you meet some fabulous people floating round, and there's the other floating in and out of the gaps in between.
I've lived most of my life trying to be all that for others, and trying my best to be the nicest, most lovable person for them and never for me. I finally realised the karma had to come back at some stage - and it started with acknowledging the good in me first. Only then did the rest of the world catch up with me. I stopped accepting the crap and started looking at what I actually wanted out of life.....and bang it hit me!
On what felt like the saddest of days, the day I planned to kiss goodbye to all I'd created....the pieces of myself I hid from the rest of the world and released only here, I started to close the file on what was, and what I thought would be.......until you popped up on my screen and asked what was wrong. It just all went from there. I sat in tears, soaking my keyboard and making a mess of everything and you just talked to me. For the first time in a long time I felt like a human being, a worthwhile one, who was actually being listened to and not just rejected for the feelings I was having. We talked for hours, before you had to shoot through. I left a final message or two, hoping not to look like a nutter for begging for you to come back and save me from the guy who though I was serious about the aliens hehe.
And so it started right there, me falling apart, and you wiping my tears away with a soothing voice of reason and tender care.
I used to think that karma was a blood thirsty *****, and it turned out I was looking at the wrong side of her face....only when I chose to open my eyes to really see, did I find that she holds both good and evil in her palm - and minus the tears my sight became clear.
Where the long path leads,we know not. What the future holds is a dream awaiting us both. I'm glad we found each other in that moment. Now get the friggin' bedroom sorted will ya! The other side of mine's lonely, and I've put the pet weta out to go tinkles.
Mwah's and Loves Tony.