Going Through Tough Times

The past 6 months have been quite difficult and the writer in me finds that sharing always helps.  Five months ago my husband asked for a separation and then two weeks ago I was diagnosed with Melanoma.  It has been a trying time, but quite surprisingly one of the most spiritual experiences I have had of late.  A whole new part of me has opened up and I feel as if I am growing as a human being.

My husband in not so many words told me it was my bad Karma coming back to me.  While I wholeheartedly believe in Karma, I do not believe in "Good" or "Bad" Karma.  In fact, I believe that many things we perceive as bad, end up being huge blessings.  All of my life, every event that has taken place has always ended up being what was best for me.  I don't always like the road that gets me there, but the end result has always been beneficial.  So, yes I believe in Karma, but I choose not to assign a "good" or "bad" to it.  If my actions are kind, compassionate and loving; if I help others in selfless acts; and continue this path with others who have the same idea in mind, I know my Karma will be exactly what I need (not necessarily what I want).

I just got off the phone with the doctor and was pleased to hear that my lymph nodes were not infected with the Melanoma.  It now appears that I will only have to have radiation and no chemo therapy (at least for now).  I feel blessed that we caught the cancer in its very early stages.  My mother had Stage 4 Melanoma (my doctor says it is a hereditary disease)  7 years ago was told she had 6 months to live.  To make a long story short, she is still with us and is Cancer Free now for the past 6 years.

As far as my separation goes, well obviously the powers that be know better than I do.  It was not my choice, but I will be better off in the long run.  Every day it becomes clearer and clearer that there is something very wonderful in store for me.

More to come...

childoftheland childoftheland
46-50, F
2 Responses Mar 5, 2009

Yes I agree with all you have said .. we choose our response and that makes all the difference.

So many people misunderstand karma. It is so good to read a story that shows an understanding of it. <br />
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I'm pleased to read that the melanoma had not involved the lymph nodes and was caught in the early stages. I'm thrilled to read about your mom. The same thing happened with my dad, except that the prostate cancer that had metastisized throughout his body. The doctors told me to get his affairs in order because he only had a short time to live. He recovered and lived 12 more years to the ripe old age of 85.<br />
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It is so wise to live as if everything that happens to us is exactly what we need for our optimal growth. You are an inspiration.